Sacrifices
by LeoWife
Summary: Leah Clearwater had been the victim of fate more than once. It seemed that the only thing she had left to offer was herself and she was willing to sacrifice anything to keep those around her happy. Even if it meant letting them go.
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya! This is my first fanfic. I've finally gotten the guts to post something so here goes nothing. Please note this story is rated M for future chapters. Also it will contain imprint bashing... Sorry ya'll but I can't stand the idea of choices being taken away from our favourite pack. Not to mention Leah was not given the ending she deserved... Hope you enjoy! ( note not a song fic, but may post lyrics that inspired the chapter)**

 **P.s. if anyone catches a mistake please let me know. I am not known for my editing skills.**

* * *

 **Don't you know I'm no good for you  
I've learned to lose you, can't afford to  
Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'  
But nothin' ever stops you leavin'**

 **Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own  
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that  
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that**

 **Don't you know too much already  
I'll only hurt you if you let me  
Call me friend but keep me closer (Call me back)  
And I'll call you when the party's over**

 **Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own  
And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that  
Yeah I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that**

 **But nothing is better sometimes  
Once we've both said our goodbyes  
Let's just let it go  
Let me let you go**

 **Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own  
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that  
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that**

 **Billie Eilish - When the party's over.**

* * *

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Jacob's timbre voice rolled out into the night air like the waves crashing below Leah's feet. She was perched on the hard rock with her long tanned legs dangling over the edge of the stone cliff. They were swinging back and forth like she would when they were young and it reminded Jake of a simpler time.

"It was all getting to be a little much. I mean come on, obviously they are going to get married. They're imprints, _soulmates_." Leah sneered the last word. "Not sure why we need to throw a shindig every time this happens. Oh, Jared proposed. Big surprise. I'm _just_ shocked, really." Leah rolled her eyes before turning her gaze back to the vast ocean, the atmosphere suddenly turning cold and sombre.

Jake paused before throwing a look over his shoulder, as if deciding whether to take the bait and sit with the she-wolf or to make a quiet escape. Probably thinking he could avoid her wrath Leah thought. Down on the beach he could see the party goers. His imprint seemed to be enjoying herself, if her giggles were anything to go by. He could just make out her profile leaning over Emily's small rounded stomach. The 10 month old who now sported a 12-year old's appearance seemed to be listening for a heartbeat of Sam's child. Deciding all was well, Jake slowly made his way beside Leah. Sitting cross legged, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off her bare shoulder. From the corner of his eye he took in her appearance.

Full lips parted and dragged down in the corners. High cheek bones, bronzed skin, lashes that framed her hazel eyes.

She was so _fucking_ beautiful he thought to himself.

Leah pretended like she couldn't feel his dark gaze on her face, feeling her lashes flutter against her cheeks as she took in a deep breath. Jacob's scent surrounding her, she finally felt a moment of peace from the aching in her chest. Surprisingly Swan- or rather Cullen- came to mind. Bella was a lot of things. A lot of things Leah hated. But she was right, Jacob was like the sun. Her only source of warmth these days.

"Shouldn't you be over there with the spawn Jacob? She'll be waiting for you I'm sure. Hate to keep you." Leah slowly opened her eyes to peek over at him. He was all warmth, rich skin, square jaw. Strong features that displayed his status. Jacob was an alpha and he was everything a woman could want. But why did he insist on pushing her boundaries? Over the last year they had gotten closer and closer. He slowly but surely chipped away at her until having him around became less of an annoyance and more of a routine. That is, when he wasn't doting on his imprint.

"Listen beta of mine. No man gets left behind. Even if she insists on it." He joked while nudging her shoulder with his. "Plus, we have to show solidarity in front of the others. Can't have them thinking I want a new second in command."

"Yeah, I'm sure they are all just itching to take over that job Jacob. Who wouldn't love to listen to your bitching on a regular" Leah leaned back bracing herself on her arms. Why could he not just leave her be? Did he not see how hard it was getting for her? Every day was a struggle to keep her heart in check. Putting on the mask and acting like he didn't know her deepest darkest parts. He was always there. Her "friend". Pulling her closer and closer. Could he not see her walls crumbling down and her heart yearning for him? The way his yearned for the bronzed haired beauty.

Somehow over time Leah began to veiw him as more than a pack mate, more than a friend. They were constantly teetering on the edge of more only to be brought back by the cables tied to the hybrid. It was a rude reminder for Leah. Things were never going to be the way she wanted. Fate had other ideas. It always did.

" C'mon Lee, lets head back. I promise to stand with you in the back and feed you beer one bottle at a time." Jacob knew today would be hard for her. She wouldn't show it, but these parties always ate at her. He promised himself to split his focus. Keep an eye on Nessie and be sure to support Leah. So far he had done a pretty shitty job. He hadn't even noticed Leah had snuck off until Seth asked for her. The guilt was an unwelcome pain in his chest. He should have been more aware, Leah needed him and he was too focused on Nessie' s excitment to be joining the pack and giving Kim the present she picked out. As usual the his imprint's wants came first, they blidned him.

"Give me a few okay?" Leah tried her best to grin, knowing it came out more like a grimace. "I just need a few" She lied. No amount of time would make any of this okay. The pack had all began to settle down. Most finding their imprints even though the legends had made it seem so rare.

" _Rare my ass "_ Leah thought. The legends had been wrong about a lot of things it seemed. Including the existence of a she-wolf.

Jacob threw one last fleeting glance at her before nodding and picking his 6'7 frame up off the ground with grace that would put any regular human to shame. He stood and hesitated before heading back knowing he wouldn't convince Leah to follow.

Leah waited until the last of his warmth disappeared from the air around her. Slowly, the sinking feeling in her stomach bubbled up and her throat seemed to close. The grief reared its ugly head in her soul as she heard the party slowly start to wind down. She could just make out the sounds of some of the couples quietly try and sneak off. Probably in attempt to get out of cleaning up. Leah rolled her eyes before focusing her hearing on something or rather someone else.

She could hear the laugh that sounded like bells in the wind and the deep warm chuckle that followed it. Jacob was always in bright spirits around his imprint. All of them were. It was imprint magic. Nothing like what Leah had to offer.

Slowly the beach was vacated, and Leah regretted not leaving earlier. The quiet was always worse than the noise. It was another reminder that she was alone. Would be alone. Forever.

That was her sacrifice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your follows and reviews. Here is the second chapter**

 **Disclaimer- Twilight belongs to S.M. even if she ruined it with BD... sigh**

* * *

 **I see you walking through the rain**  
 **And I see the water covering your teardrops on your face**  
 **And I know that I broke all your rules**  
 **Oh, now you're looking at me, and I'm looking at you like a fool**  
 **But, you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you**  
 **No, you don't know what it's like when you can't go back**

 **'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you**  
 **And how can I not win when I'm always bound to lose**  
 **No, when I ain't got you**  
 **No, no, no, I ain't got you, no**

 **So come on inside, you catch a cold**  
 **Oh, darling the storm will pass when you grow old**  
 **But you stand next to me with a look in your eyes**  
 **And you say goodbye, you say goodbye**  
 **And you say goodbye**  
 **But, you don't know what it's like to lose you**

 **'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you**  
 **And how can I not win when I'm always bound to lose?**  
 **When I'm always bound to**  
 **'Cause I tried to hold on tight to make you mine, but I lost each time**  
 **And I only lose my mind when I ain't got you**

 **But I think it's time to let you go**  
 **To let your heart find a home**  
 **I need to let you go**

 **'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you**  
 **And how I can win when I'm always bound to lose**  
 **No, I ain't got you**  
 **No, no, no, I ain't got you, oh**

 **Lose My Mind Dean Lewis**

* * *

The pitter patter of the rain on the glass woke Leah from her slumber. Just like every morning her mind fogged with the nightmares that plagued her and for a split second her mind tricked her into thinking it had all been a hideous dream. Slowly she drew in a breath. Her father's scent had gradually disappeared from the small two storey house over time. As of late, she couldn't pick it up at all and it was just another reminder of what her life had turned into. It hadn't been a dream.

Leah turned on her side towards the photos that scattered her dresser. Pictures of Harry, Seth, her friends from high school, pamphlets from Yale and Harvard that had torn at the edges and collected dust. Lastly the picture of her and Sam at First Beach. All the things that tied her to her previous life.

It was painful to hold onto these things, but Leah couldn't help but think it would be worse to part with them. It would mean that the life she had always pictured for herself really was over.

"Leah, I'm headed out to Charlie's! I'll be home later "Sue called up the stairs, startling Leah from her thoughts.

"So gross" Leah whispered to herself as she heard the front door close. She still couldn't understand how her mother had fallen for Swan. It felt like her father had just left them and yet it was as if everyone just forgot. Leah couldn't help wondering if the same would happen to her when the time came.

" _Here lies Leah Clearwater. The bitter harpy, thorn in the side. Good riddance._ Leah thought to herself while picturing the tombstone.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Leah showered quickly and dressed for the day. Bounding down the stairs she found the house to be empty and cold. She decided on a quick bowl of cereal before attempting to register for her online course. She finally decided on trying to get somewhere with her education. She had been an honour student with a promising future. Ivy league colleges were in her grasp before everything fell apart.

"Leah!" Jacob's deep voice shook her out of her thoughts just in time to hear him burst through the front screen door. Following his senses, he turned the corner into the tiny kitchen to find his beta looking up over the cereal box with an annoyed glare on her face.

"Afternoon sunshine!" He smiled at her before parking himself on the old chair next to hers and reaching across her to steal her bowl of half eaten soggy corn flakes.

"Jacob." Leah scowled at him. "Why are you here. I'm not really up for some company" She gave him a dirty look before stealing her bowl back. She looked down at the brown mush in the bowl before deciding it no longer held an appeal.

"Well my dear. That is just too damn bad because we are going out. So, suck it up and get your cute little self into the car." Jacob stood with a triumphant look on his face before grabbing her hand and dragging her out to the rabbit.

Leah rolled her eyes before begrudgingly squeezing herself into the front seat. Jacob slid next to her and started the car before rolling his window down and turned onto the main road out of the Res.

Feeling the fresh air circulating through the car, Leah rested her head against the head rest and closed her eyes. She let the old songs on the radio and the warmth of Jacob take her to a better time.

Jacob turned into the parking lot of the little diner and parked. He turned to see Leah had turned towards him in her sleep. Her choppy hair had grown out past her shoulders now that she wasn't under strict orders to keep it short. A piece had made its way over her face and it moved back and forth with each breath. Jacob reached forward and tucked it behind her ear.

"Lee, we're here honey." Slowly Leah's eyes fluttered open to find Jacob's massive frame leaning over her. His deep warm eyes just inches from hers. So close their noses were brushing against each other's. She turned to her window to see the diner's bright sign and the big wall of windows that let you see the old worn booths.

"Priscilla's? You remembered." Leah felt her eyes fill with tears as she turned to Jacob. This diner had been her favourite spot to visit with her dad. They came for every special occasion including the father-daughter date every second Thursday of the month.

Before Jacob could respond, Leah threw herself into his chest. Jacob was taken back as he wrapped his arms around her. Leah had never willingly shown him such a gesture of affection. He could feel her tears on his shirt while the stroked her hair unsure what to do. The only time Jacob had seen Leah cry was at Harry's funeral and she had shed one single tear before furiously wiping it away. He held her until her tears stopped and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. Holding her, trying to keep her pieces together for just a bit longer.

The two wolves made their way into the little dinner. Both ordered enough to make the waitress raise her eyebrows and mutter to herself under her breath. When the older lady made her way from the table both russet skinned shifters snickered under their breath before deciding that the kitchen staff were totally going to make bets on if they would finish the pile of food they would be served.

They had eaten in silence, neither bothering to make small talk. Every few minutes Jacob would peer at Leah until she would glare at him. He would flush just a little darker each time he was caught before Leah had finally had enough.

"Seriously Jacob. What is wrong with you?' Her voice was guarded as she studied him closely. She waited for a cold remark, he was going to call her a freak. A harpy or whatever new choice of words the pack had these days.

"You're beautiful Leah. Your eyes haven't been this bright in a long time." Jacob muttered before playing with the fries on his plate.

"Oh." Leah could feel blood rush to her cheeks before abruptly standing up. She stood waiting for Jacob to do the same. They awkwardly stood in the middle of the diner just gazing at each other and ignoring the curious glances they were receiving from the others in the small room. Realizing they had begun to cause a scene Jacob threw a few bills on the table, grabbed Leah's hand and pulled her out of the doors.

They walked hand in hand back to the car and silently got in. As they made the trip back neither wolf mentioned their interlocked fingers clasped together between them. The drive back was silent but peaceful and Leah felt just a little lighter.

Pulling up to her house Jacob parked and turned the keys. Taking a deep breath, he was unsure what to say. He waited for Leah to lecture him about personal space and pull her hand away. Slowly he turned to face her only to find her gazing at him. She had a tiny frown painted on her lips while she studied him.

Just as he was about to apologize for dragging her out today Leah leaned forward. She slowly shifted her weight, pulling her hand from his to cup his cheek. Jacob titled his head into her hand and closed his eyes. He felt the tension grown more than it had over the past few months. It was like it was crackling in the tiny car. Nuzzling into her hand he opened his eyes and brought his own hand up to cup the back of her head. His finger threaded through her hair and he pulled her closer.

He gave her a moment to pull away before surging forward. His warm lips brushed against hers. Once. Twice. Three times before pulling back to study her face.

Leah looked up at him with the smallest grin. She leaned forward and gently kissed him back. Taking his lower lip between his and sucking gently before pressing a soft kiss to his upper lip. She sat back into her seat and gave Jacob a small nod before pushing open her door and skipping out. She turned and lifted her hand up in a silent goodbye. Not willing to say anything that could ruin this evening. Jacob seemed to understand and slowly pulled from the drive.

Leah made her way up the path to the front steps before freezing. She turned to her left and lifted her chin in defiance.

"Sam."

He made his way from the shadows of the thick forest. He stood tall, proud and crossed his arms. At one time her heart would have stopped at the mere sight of him. Looking at him now Leah could only feel coldness, sadness and regret.

"You smell like him" Sam's deep voice was sharp and if she had been anyone else it would have made her head drop in submission.

"Why are you here Sam? You spying on me now?" Leah turned to face him completely, unwilling to show any weakness to him. He had lost the right to question her.

"I was on patrol when I saw you two. Leah. What the hell are you doing with that _boy_?" Sam sneered the word at her before taking two strides closer to her. He stood toe to toe with her and towered over her.

"Sam, why do you care? Go home to Emily." Leah shook her head at him and turned. She couldn't do this now. She had finally had a day where she didn't feel like her world was falling apart and of course Sam was here to bring her back to reality.

"Leah. You know I care. You know I do." Sam grasped her arms before turning her to him. For a split second it felt like the past few years had never happened and they were just Leah and Sam. He was just here to tell her how much he cared. Leah searched his face, looking for some sign her Sam was still there. His deep brown eyes were hard like the rest of his face. He had lost the little fat in his cheeks that gave him the boyish charm. His hair was cut short when it used to be longer and flopped over his forehead. It would always be in the way of his eyes and Leah used to spend hours brushing it back. The dimple in his left cheek appeared to be gone and the half smile that would paint his face had disappeared long ago.

"Sam. Stop this. Please." Leah had long accepted that Sam was no longer hers. She had lost him long ago and this man in front of her was not her Sam. He was gone and with him the love they shared.

"Lee Lee." Sam begged. "You know I never wanted this" Sam remined her.

"But you can't fucking change it Sam!" Why could he not understand that. The pack had always told Leah to get over it not realizing that she only held onto the past because Sam refused to let her forget.

"I still love you Lee Lee." Sam stated while running a hand through his short cropped hair, grasping at it and pulling at in frustration "It's just-"

"You love her more. I know" Leah sighed.

"I never meant to hurt you Leah." Sam took a step closer bending a little to get Leah to look at his face. Instead Leah pulled her arms back and shook her head looking at the ground.

"Just because you didn't intend to hurt me, doesn't make it hurt any less Sam." Leah lifted her chin to face her first love.

His eyes were boring into hers. Both pairs broken and sad. As much as Sam tried to pretend the imprint was the greatest gift he was given they both knew his choice had been taken and with it his freedom. Sam had been a smart kid, good grades and even better alethic potential. He was going places until his first phase happened. He lost his future, his dreams and his heart. His Lee Lee was everything to him. She had been his world since he was 12 and in a split second, one look, it was all gone.

"He is going to do the same thing Leah. She is his imprint. Nothing can stop it" Sam whispered as Leah backed up shaking her head in denial.

With one last glance, Leah ran up the steps to her house and slammed the door shut. Covering her mouth, she climbed the stairs, trying to keep her sobs at bay. She turned the corner into her room and threw herself onto her bed. Grasping her pillow, she pulled it to her chest. Screaming into it, Leah felt her heart crack and shatter.

She didn't hear her window slide open over her broken sobs. She couldn't smell him over her tears and she didn't feel him over her pain until two strong arms wrapped around her.

"I shouldn't have left Lee, I'm sorry I didn't think he was headed this way." Jacob whispered into her ear.

Jacob had seen the large black wolf pass him on his way home and decided to turn around. By the time he got here Sam had left and he could hear the heart broken sobs filling the evening air from the bedroom on the second floor.

Jacob carefully arranged himself to curl around the she wolf and held her while her heart broke a little more.

"It will be okay Leah" He whispered

 _It will never be okay_ Leah thought to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello friends! Goodness it has been a long time and the world is in a new scary place. Hopefully this will help also the news from SM and midnight sun... here is hoping she has a writing itch and we get some leah in the future?**

 **Disclaimer... Sm owns twilight and the characters.**

* * *

 **My, my, my,my**  
 **(My, my, my, my)**

 **Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts**  
 **Flashbacks waking me up**  
 **I get drunk, but it's not enough**  
 **'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby**

 **I look through the windows of this love**  
 **Even though we boarded them up**  
 **Chandelier still flickering here**  
 **'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not**  
 **It's death by a thousand cuts**

 **I dress to kill my time**  
 **I take the long way home**  
 **I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright**  
 **They say, "I don't know"**

 **And what once was ours**  
 **Is no one's now**  
 **I see you everywhere, the only thing we share**  
 **Is this small town**

 **You said it was a great love**  
 **One for the ages**  
 **But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?**

 **'Cause saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts**  
 **Flashbacks waking me up**  
 **I get drunk, but it's not enough**  
 **'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby**  
 **I look through the windows of this love**  
 **Even though we boarded them up**  
 **Chandelier still flickering here**  
 **'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not**  
 **It's death by a thousand cuts**

 **My heart, my hips, my body, my love**  
 **Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch**  
 **Gave up on me like I was a bad drug**  
 **Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club**  
 **Our songs, our films, united, we stand**  
 **Our country, guess it was a lawless land**  
 **Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand**  
 **Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans**  
 **My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust**  
 **Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up**  
 **Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough**  
 **But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts**

 **I get drunk, but it's not enough**  
 **'Cause you're not my baby**  
 **I look through the windows of this love**  
 **Even though we boarded them up**  
 **Chandelier still flickering here**

 **'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not**  
 **No, it's not**  
 **It's death by a thousand cuts (you didn't touch)**  
 **Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch**  
 **My body, my love**  
 **My trust (it's death by a thousand cuts)**  
 **But it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough, no, no**

 **I take the long way home**  
 **I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright**  
 **They say, "I don't know"**

 **Death by a Thousand Cuts Taylor Swift**

" _Sammy! You got in! You got in!" Leach exclaimed while launching herself at her boyfriend. In her hand was a clenched crisp piece of white paper with the name Samuel Uley in bold across the top. The brightness of it stark against the colour of her copper fist._

 _She could feel his arms automatically circle her middle while his mouth hung open with shock. It was like his brain had disconnected from his body and she wasn't sure he could hear anything over the ringing of his ears_

 _He got in._

 _It wasn't Harvard, but Boston University was close! Sam would be close and their plans would all come together just like they said they would._

" _Lee… I got in. I got in! I got in!" Sam pulled her close and pressed his nose to her neck. She could feel his smile against her and his tears were warm on her skin. Leah pulled back to cradle his face in her hands. She searched his beautiful dark eyes for any sign of disappointment._

" _What's wrong baby? "Leah could feel her smile slide of her face in concern. In return Sam's smile lit up his entire face, making him look more like that nervous freshman with rounded cheeks than the 6'5 man who currently held her._

" _I just never thought this would happen. The worthless son of Josh Uley is leaving this little town and making something of himself!" Sam hoisted Leah up higher in his arms and spun them around his room._

" _We did it Lee Lee! We did it!" Sam threw himself forward to capture her lips in a kiss. "Leah, I love you so fucking much." Sam whispered against her mouth._

Leah could feel her body lurch awake before her mind could process it. There was a heaviness in her chest as she raced to hold onto the feeling of her Sam in her arms. Her cheeks felt wet and she lifted her hand to confirm her suspicions. The movement disturbed the air around her and only then was she aware of the other body in her bed.

 _Jake_

He must have fallen asleep after holding her last night. Slowly Leah pulled herself away from him and quietly slid off her bed. Jake didn't seem to be aware and rolled over to face the wall. Watching him carefully Leah backed towards her closet, holding her left arm behind her to feel for the cold silver knob of the door. Once it was in her grasp and she was sure Jake was asleep still, she pulled the door open. Standing on her tip toes she reached to the top shelf where the navy blue shoe box was hidden. Looking over her shoulder one last time, Leah pulled the box to her chest and headed down stairs to the back yard. Not bothering to put on shoes, Leah padded her way to the small bench and table. Harry had made it for her and Sam for their 13th birthdays after begging for it for months. She wanted a space where her and Sam could talk and play away from the watchful eyes of her parents or the pestering of her kid brother.

Checking her surroundings one more time, Leah sat down and placed the box on the table with shaking hands. She held her breath and slowly slid the dusty lid off. It was like the seal of Pandora's box had been opened and Leah was bombarded with memories and souvenirs of the happiest time of her life.

At the top of the box were the three acceptance letters to her top choice schools. The very first being Harvard. The place her and Sam would continue their futures. Leah felt tears burn the back of her eyes while she smoothed the crumped letter out against the rough wood of the table before turning her eyes back to the box. She could see the petals of the first rose Sam had given her on their first date. The rock and shell necklace he had made her. The tabs to the tickets from the first fair they went to. Pictures of them from elementary school to high school. The couple looking more in love in the next picture than the last. Hidden under all of the tokens and trinkets was the last surprise Sam would ever give her. His grandmother's engagement ring.

Leah felt her stomach drop as she looked at the simple gold band with a single pearl placed delicately in the middle. Sam had promised her over and over it was just a place holder until after school was done but Leah couldn't be happier. It was perfect.

Leah held the ring between her fingers, the cold metal feeling foreign to her after all this time. Her heart felt tight and the tears finally spilled over her lashes falling onto her cheeks. Leah could remember how that ring had felt on her finger after she promised to only take it off while cliff diving. If only she had known that wouldn't be the only promise that would be broken.

" _We did it Lee Lee! We did it!" Sam threw himself forward to capture her lips in a kiss. "Leah, I love you so fucking much." Sam whispered against her lips._

The memory from her dream came flooding back and Leah felt like she was drowning. Carefully she placed the items back in the box while trying to reign in her sobs . She was so preoccupied with putting her past back into that tiny carboard cage she didn't notice the russet man behind her.

Jacob could tell by the way Leah's shoulders hunched in on herself she was trying to shield her pain. Too bad the smell of tears was already heavy in the air and he could hear her muffled cries from her bedroom upstairs. Carefully he strode over to her before placing his large warm hand over her delicate one on the lid of the box.

"Lee" He whispered from behind her. His voice obviously jolting her out of her thoughts. Quickly she wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hands and smiled up at him

"Hey, sorry you hungry?" Her voice cracked but he knew she was trying to avoid another uncomfortable situation between the two of them. Jake decided to give her an olive branch hoping to show he wouldn't force her hand and make her talk about it

"Always."

Jake sat in the rickety old chair at the table while Leah hummed under her breath. He wasn't sure what to do even though broken girls seemed to be his forte these days. Leah shuffled back and fourth in the kitchen while putting their plates together and joining him at the table.

"Looks great Lee" Jacob managed to spit out before shoveling the hot eggs into his mouth. Keeping himself preoccupied for the time being before he said something stupid as he was seemed to do.

Leah looked at him with a grimace on her face before moving to her own plate and pushing her food around. She could tell he was doing his best to avoid the topic on hand. After all, he had found her crying over a stupid fucking shoe box. A shoe box she had tried hundreds of times to destroy. She would always pussy out in the last moments swearing to herself next time. That box held her past. One she would never get back again. That Leah was dead. That Leah had a dad, a boyfriend, and a best friend. She had a future. Something the present Leah did not.

"It… it just…. It has stuff and .." Leah stuttered out before swallowing "It's just hard to forget you know? "she whispered while casting her eyes down to her lap. She hated being weak. More importantly, she hated being weak in front of her Alpha.

"Hey" Leah refused to look up until she felt Jake move and kneel beside her "Lee, we've been through a lot. You and I, we're pack. "

Leah felt one side of her mouth lift before nodding. "Yeah." Jake moved back to his chair and they went back to eating. Every so often Leah would peak through her lashes just to confirm Jacob was watching her with that hopefully puppy dog look in his eyes. By the eighth time Leah had enough.

"Okay so you caught me crying. Jesus Jake ! Would you fuck off?" Jacob spluttered before bursting out laughing.

"There is my she-bitch. "He said snickering. "also it was twice by the wa-" Before Jake could finish he felt her fork bounce off his forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there. Seems like the chapters are pouring out of me during this quarantine.**

 **Be aware this chapter deals with loss of pregnancy and mental health ( sort of) Its angsty**

 **as always SM owns twilight and characters**

Also not beta'd and I'm known for mistakes... even though I have an english degree... sooooooo sorry If anyone wants to be a beta please let me know!

* * *

 **Wasn't raised religious**  
 **But I wish that I was**  
 **Havin' nothin' to believe in**  
 **Has been killin' my buzz**

 **Yeah, I cut my hair, close the blinds**  
 **Play Hallelujah like two dozen times**  
 **And yesterday, I tried to pray**  
 **But I didn't know what to say**

 **I'm too sad to cry, too high to get up**  
 **Don't even try 'cause I'm scared to fuck up**  
 **Don't like to talk, I just lay in my bed**  
 **Don't even try to go out with my friends**  
 **Lied to my doctor, she knew I was fakin'**  
 **Gave me some pills, but I'm too scared to take 'em**  
 **I try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry**

 **Can't tell my Mamma**  
 **It makes her worry**  
 **I'm not suicidal**  
 **Sometimes, the lines get all blurry**

 **Yeah, I cut my hair, close the blinds**  
 **Played Hallelujah like two dozen times**  
 **And yesterday, I tried to pray**  
 **But I didn't know what to say**

 **I'm too sad to cry, too high to get up**  
 **Don't even try 'cause I'm scared to fuck up**  
 **Don't like to talk, I just lay in my bed**  
 **Don't even try to go out with my friends**  
 **I lied to my doctor, she knew I was fakin'**  
 **Gave me some pills, but I'm too scared to take 'em**  
 **I try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry**

 **I'm too sad to cry, too high to get up**  
 **Don't even try 'cause I'm scared to fuck up**  
 **Don't like to talk, I just stay in my bed**  
 **Don't even try to go out with my friends**  
 **Lied to my doctor, she knew I was fakin'**  
 **Gave me some pills, but I'm too scared to take 'em**  
 **I try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry**

 **Too Sad to Cry Sasha Sloan**

Leah had managed to convince Jake to do dishes and keep his thoughts to himself. The blue box remaining on the counter. Although it didn't take much room it might as well have been a giant neon sign screaming "LEAH'S SECRETS" and she noticed his eyes drift over to it time and time again.

She knew he would pretend to ignore it until she was ready but she was also worried he may mention something to Sam. Last thing she needed was the other pack suggesting she was trying to sabotage the marriage of Sam and Emily right before their child was born. She had just gotten them to stop calling her a bitch behind he back. Her indifference seemed to be more effective than the bitter anger she lashed against them so often years ago.

"So.." Jake turned around with his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels glancing at that box again and again.

"Just ask Jake." Leah sighed while she tried to look anywhere but at him. Leah knew that Jake had this nasty habit of wanting to fix those around him. He had started the habit when he was just six and she was ten. She had bet Jared she could climb the old oak tree in Mrs. Reed's yard and had misjudged her footing. While all the other boys laughed at her, including Sam who at the time was trying to prove he was one of them and Leah was just a gross girl, Jacob did not. In fact, he ran to her only to bend down and kiss her knee better as Sarah and always done for him.

"It's a magic kiss Lee" Jacob had whispered before he scampered off with Quil.

That was a kinder memory than most. Leah kept that one in the forefront of her mind when all else seemed lost. She now wondered if his kisses would solve anything else. After all yesterday's kiss that they had yet to talk about seemed to mend her heart. Even if it was one tiny piece of it.

"What's in it?" Jake asked while pretending to be disinterested. Leah rolled her eyes and gestured for him to look for himself. He waited for one last nod from her before bringing the box over to the table and opening it.

As predicted his eyes widened with a loud inhale at the acceptance letters before shooting Leah a look. She just shrugged her shoulders unwilling to talk about the future she almost had. Far far away from La Push with the boy she was madly in love with.

Jake shook his head in wonder before moving the letters carefully to the side and continuing. The next piece taking his interest surprised her. It was a tiny lock of hair tied together with a piece of ribbon and a feather.

" _I just love your hair Lee lee. It's almost so black there looks like there's blue in it. It's so shiny and soft" Sam said in wonder as he twirled a piece around his finger while she rested her head in his lap._

 _Leah smiled looking up at him before feeling his front pocket of his jeans for his pocket knife. Sam realized what she was looking for and passed it to her while a frown over took his face._

 _Leah carefully brought it up to her hair and ran the knife back and forth over a small portion gripped between her fingers. When it finally broke off she passed the knife back to him before handing him the lock of hair. Sam gently took the lock like it was made of the most fragile glass before looking at Leah in wonder. His eyes shone with love and his smile was breathtaking._

The memory was so fresh in Leah's mind she could have sworn that if she felt the hair on the left side she would still feel the jagged place that had been cut. Sue had been so angry that she had ruined her hair right before her pictures freshman year, but Leah had never been vain and the look of happiness on Sam's face was worth the wrath of her mother.

Next Jacob pulled a cd with writing that flowed around the disc. It was obvious it had been burned by one of the pair with their favourite songs. Sam had made that for her for their one-year anniversary

" _In case you miss me, and I can't be here. Listen to that knowing I thought of each song and the meaning it has to me and you "_

Jacob tilted his head this way and that reading each song title while carefully holding the disc.

"Hallelujah? "He asked. Leah just shrugged "Sam always thought he was deeper and more poetic than he was." She said.

Next, he pulled out the necklace and the pictures. Studying each one carefully before putting them down. Leah was lost in thought when she heard the rattling.

"Fuck" she swore under her breath before reach forward to grab the bottle before Jacob could read the script.

"Antidepressants Lee?" She knew that he was doing his best to keep his tone free of judgement while she closed her eyes tightly willing that particular memory to leave.

" _She can't keep acting like this Harry! I have had enough of her temper and behaviour. She spends all day in bed, refuses to eat. She lashes out at whoever is closest I can't deal with it. She needs help Harry. You baby that girl! You know this is beyond our knowledge.' Leah could hear her mother's voice raise despite her father shushing her._

" _Sue, honey. You need to have patience. They were engaged, and she is in the dark to the reasons behind this."_

" _That's just it though Harry. Why can't she know? Maybe it will help. Maybe if she knew she could forgive them!" Leah frowned as she tried harder to hear her parents argue. What reason could there be for the betrayal of her fiancé and her best friend. Leah looked at the bottle of pills her family doctor had given her and scoffed. She didn't need pills she needed Sammy back. She wanted her life back._

Leah grabbed the bottle out of Jacob's hand and slammed them on the counter ignoring his questions. He had seen enough through her memories when she was phased. This memory was one she buried deep. Out of reach of those who would use it against her or worse, pity her for it. She knew if Sam knew that her parents had made her see her doctor he would try to worm his way back into her life only to reason with her that it wasn't his fault.

Jake turns to the box again, filling that info away for another day. He knew Leah had her limit on what she was willing to open up about but he wanted to make sure she knew he was here for her. Always. He had been an ass in the past while he was obsessing over Bella and learning to control his wolf. But he was past that, they were past it. They were back to how they were as kids. Well, kind of. They were closer now and not to mention the attraction between them that they always tip toed around.

Jake moved more of the papers and little things around. Blatantly ignoring the gold ring in the corner. The same one he saw adoring her ring finger at the young age of 17. He was just 13 then and green with envy. His Lee deserved better than Sam Uley and he knew Sam knew that too. His eyes roamed the near empty box until they landed one a yellow and white plastic ring.

He knew what it was but couldn't a connect the dots. He looked at the date of it and realized it was from the month before Leah first phased. Unsure on how to ask, he just stood and held it out to her.

"Leah?" he whispered while he saw her eyes widen before filling with tears. A delicate sob broke from her chest before her knees buckled.

"Lee!" He ran forward to kneel in front of her. He cradled her face in his hands waiting for her to answer.

" _Do you have a parent with you Leah? Are they here?" the doctor asked while she sat on the uncomfortable bed. Her belly was still cramping, and she knew if she checked her underwear they would be dark with blood. She didn't understand. She didn't understand what happened. She was young. Healthy. Why would this happen?_

 _Sue came in escorted by the nurse and sat in the chair next to her. Leah couldn't focus on anything after she heard the word and her mother gasp._

 _Miscarriage._

 _Her mother gripped her hand while she focused at the floor. Her mother was speaking frantically while she shed her own tears. 6 weeks wasn't long. She knew that. She didn't even know she was carrying a piece of him with her. But now that it was gone she couldn't help but feel like a piece of her was missing too. The last thing of Sam she would ever have._

Jacob held her to him while she tried to explain through sobs. That she hadn't done anything unusual it just happened. It just happened, and she couldn't stop it from happening.

Jacob shushed her and stroked her hair. All the pieces coming together. This is why Bella's choice was so important. Why she always questioned her future and if children would be in it. Why seeing Emily pregnant had eaten away at her for weeks. Why she couldn't stand everyone touching Emily's belly while they cooed over her excitement

"Did he know Lee?" Jacob asked before feeling her shake her head.

"No. I couldn't tell him. Not after… "Leah trailed off letting the silence fill the rest of that sentence. Not after he left her. Not after he attacked Emily. Not after everything.

And there on the kitchen floor of the Clearwater's Jacob Black held Leah Clearwater all the while asking what she had done to deserve this.


	5. Chapter 5

**I was wrong to say I loved her**  
 **I was wrong to think I'm right**  
 **But when I told her it was over**  
 **My darling I had lied**  
 **I've been running from my demons**  
 **Afraid to look behind**  
 **I've been running from myself**  
 **Afraid of what I'd find**

 **But how am I supposed to love you**  
 **When I don't love who I am?**  
 **And how can I give you all of me**  
 **When I'm only half a man?**  
 **'Cause I'm a sinking ship that's burning**  
 **So let go of my hand**  
 **Oh, how can I give you all of me**  
 **When I'm only half a man?**

 **And now I'm stuck in this hotel room**  
 **By cold neon light**  
 **I've been waiting for an answer**  
 **But it don't come tonight**  
 **And every bottle I had stolen**  
 **Lay shattered on the floor**  
 **What's broken can't be whole, anymore**

 **But how am I supposed to love you**  
 **When I don't love who I am**  
 **And how can I give you all of me**  
 **When I'm only half a man**  
 **'Cause I'm a sinking ship that's burning**  
 **So let go of my hand**  
 **And how can I give you all of me**  
 **When I'm only half a man?**

 **And no one can ever hurt me**  
 **Like I've hurt myself**  
 **'Cause I'm made out of stone**  
 **And I'm beyond help**  
 **Don't give your heart to me**

 **But how am I supposed to love you**  
 **When I don't love who I am?**  
 **And how can I give you all of me**  
 **When I'm only half a man?**  
 **'Cause I'm a sinking ship that's burning**  
 **So let go of my hand**  
 **And how can I give you all of me**  
 **When I'm only half a man?**  
 **Hmm, hmm hmm, hmm, hmm**

 **Half a Man Dean Lewis**

* * *

The sun was setting by the time Jake got Leah settled and sleeping in her bed. He had held her in his arms while her broken heart shattered that much more. He shushed her while stroking her back and wiping her tears.

How had he been in her head, known her for her entire life and not known these secrets? How had she managed to stand under the weight of this? How had she managed to go on the way she had? Jacob had so many thoughts running through his head while he waited for her breath to even out. He did his best to focus on the in and out of the air in her lungs to keep his rage under control.

He was going to kill Sam Uley.

That fucker had done enough damage to the girl he swore for years he had loved more than anything. Jacob felt the imprint, he knew the strength of the cables that tied you to that one you were meant for. But he couldn't not understand how you could turn your back on your first love so fast. So coldly.

It took effort on Jacob's part to remember what Leah was before the Sam fiasco. The new memories were so present it took real focus to remember Leah in her favourite sun dresses. Her glorious smile or the way her chin tilted back while the unflattering, yet charming laugh would burst from her chest. The way she could sit on the grass with Seth and his friends trying to catch fireflies or how she would lick her thumb and wipe the ketchup off their faces at the bonfires just to spread her "cooties".

Leah had been light, kind, sweet and gentle. The hard shell she was now was a product of her environment. A product of the way they treated her. The way he treated her. He stood from her bed turning to look at her while swearing he would never ever let her down again. He would not let anyone treat her with disrespect again. His hand reached out to stroke her damp cheek one more time before he hurried out of the little house and headed straight to the other alpha.

Jacob counted each footstep trying to keep the vibrations under control. He knew that he needed to keep himself from phasing if he was going to better Sam. He wouldn't do it as his beast. He would do it as the person who had cared for his Lee all those years ago.

As Jacob turned the corner, Sam burst through his front door. Obviously sensing the threat of the true alpha. He jumped down the front steps meeting Jacob half way to while eyeing him suspiciously.

"Jaco-"Sam went to greet him completely unaware of Jacob's fist cocking back to slam forward into his jaw.

"You motherfucking son of a bitch" Jacob roared while pouncing on him and wrapping one hand around Sam's throat lifting his head to slam it back into the ground. Sam lifted his hands to wrap around the wrist holding him. He couldn't get a strong enough hold before Jacob slammed him into the ground again.

Jacob could feel Sam vibrating in attempt to phase and get the upper hand.

" **Don't you fucking dare. You will take it like the man you swear you are"** Jacob ordered.

Sam's eyes widened before his body went limp into submission. Once Jacob was sure his order had made its mark, he let him go only taking a step back. Sam rose carefully, keeping his eye on him while gaining his footing. Slowly he stood rubbing his throat and then jaw. Sam as smart enough to keep quiet while Jacob got his rage under control.

"You are a selfish fucker you know that Uley? "Jacob asked. "I heard what you said to her. You told her you still loved her. You told her you loved her after everything."

Sam looked at Jacob confused before quietly asking "Her who?" not understanding what Jacob was talking about. Or maybe he was stupid enough to play innocent.

"Leah." Jacob growled while crossing his arms across his chest. " I heard what you told her. after I kissed her. You just keep doing this Sam. You don't want her but you can't let her go."

"You just don't understand it Jacob" Sam whispered while looking over Jacobs shoulder, unwilling to meet his eyes.

" **Then explain it to me Uley"** Jacob ordered. If Sam was going to make excuses he wanted to hear it from his lips. Not through his lackies, not through Leah.

"Jacob, it's complicated you know that. You've imprinted you know how difficult it can be" Sam begged.

" **You have 30 seconds before I rip your throat out I swear to God Sam!"** Jacob screamed while barring his teeth.

" I love her Jacob! That wasn't a lie! I love her. Fuck! I love her!" Sam yelled desperately while tears filled his eyes. "I still love her. I will always love her. But now, its like. Its like…." Sam paused gathering his thoughts

"It is like I'm only half of who I was Jacob. Like the person I was is just gone. Like he was never really there but just a figment of imagination. Like I'm half of him. " Sam gasped as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Leah. Leah was everything man. She was everything. I knew I didn't deserve her. I knew I shouldn't have loved her but how could I turn her away. I always thought she'd leave me. She'd realize that I wasn't worth it. But she loved me. She held my hand the day my dad left. She helped my mother pack his shit. She stood up to Jared and Paul when they mocked me for not being enough for him to stay. She listened and loved and was so proud of anything I did. She was everything. From the first bonfire we went to to the last day in her living. She was always the most important thing in my life. She was my heart and soul." Jacob felt guilt start to creep into his core. He knew Sam still felt for Leah. After all, those feelings don't leave, they just get pushed aside by the imprint. He knew this, he heard it enough times in Sam's head when he thought no one was aware. Jacob himself felt it now between Nessie and Leah.

"But Emily, Emily came and she just. Emily became my light. Emily, she just." Sam stumbled over his words while trying to justify his decisions and actions.

"Leah deserved better and Emily. She needed me after what I did to her. I thought, I thought Leah would move on. She was going places. She had goals and a future and then Harry happened. I never expected her to phase. It wasn't supposed to be possible Jacob. You've heard the legends"

Jacob sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. The burning rage was starting to simmer now that he and time to focus on the details he knew.

"Sam." He whispered opening his eyes again. "She was pregnant Sam." Jacob saw Sam roll the words though his head before his eyes widened and his jaw fell slack.

"What?" He whispered while his body trembled.

"A month before Harry. She lost it man" Jacob never thought you could actually see a heart break. But standing there he knew he was wrong. Samuel Uley's heart shattered before the Alpha of La Push.

Leah was right. Sam had no idea. Jacob knew he had no right to comfort him after he had attacked him but he couldn't watch helplessly while Sam's entire past fell apart at the seams. His idealistic memories unravelled rapidly. He grabbed Sam by the shoulders and held him while the older man cried into his embrace.

It may have been minutes or hours but eventually they pulled apart. Sam sniffed and wiped his face with his hands. His wedding ring gleaming in the last bit daylight.

"I'm sorry for coming here like that man. I just was so angry when I found out." Jacob had the decency to look sheepish while shrugging.

"How did you find out?" Sam asked. His voice still fogged with tears. "Why didn't I know?"

"Leah has a box of some stuff and it brought up some questions. I don't think she ever planned on telling anyone." Jacob shrugged again.

"Why did she tell you?" Sam asked while his eyes narrowed.

"We're close now. You know that. We're pack." Jacob could feel a shiver of anger at Sam's line of questioning. Like he had a right to ask.

"You are more than pack Jacob. You have been for the last year. You're close to crossing lines Jake" Sam argued. "The things she has told you, she hasn't told anyone obviously and I know you think you are protecting her but Jacob. Leah, she loves with everything in her and it starts with trust. If she trusts you with this you know that she's too close to you." Sam tried to lower his shoulders and eyes to avoid conflict while he felt Jacob's rage surge again.

"You don't know shit Sam" Jacob snapped.

"I know that you've imprinted and this relationship you have will end badly Jacob. It will break her" Sam said while standing his ground. "I know I don't have a right to say anything but you know this can't end well."

"You're right Sam." Jacob said while turning his back on him. " You don't have a fucking right and you don't know shit.


	6. Chapter 6

**I fell by the wayside like everyone else**  
 **I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself**  
 **Our every moment, I start to replace**  
 **'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say**

 **When you hurt under the surface**  
 **Like troubled water running cold**  
 **Well, time can heal, but this won't**

 **As always all mistakes are my own**

 **S.m. Owns Twilight and Characters. Even if she butchered a certain She wolf in BD**

* * *

 **So, before you go**  
 **Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?**  
 **If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather**  
 **So, before you go**  
 **Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?**  
 **It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless**  
 **So, before you go**

 **Was never the right time, whenever you called**  
 **Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all**  
 **Our every moment, I start to replay**  
 **But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face**

 **When you hurt under the surface**  
 **Like troubled water running cold**  
 **Well, some can heal, but this won't**

 **So, before you go**  
 **Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?**  
 **If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather**  
 **So, before you go**  
 **Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?**  
 **It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless**  
 **So, before you go**

 **Would we be better off by now**  
 **If I'd have let my walls come down?**  
 **Maybe, I guess we'll never know**  
 **You know, you know**

 **Before you go**  
 **Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?**  
 **If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather**  
 **So, before you go**  
 **Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?**  
 **It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless**  
 **So, before you go**

 **Lewis Capaldi Before you Go**

* * *

Leah's head was pounding when she finally woke. Her eyes were swollen and sore as she searched her bedroom for Jake. She paused holding her breath to see if she could hear him. She heard her mother's quiet snores and Seth's music playing softly from down the hall. When she was sure she wouldn't be detected she swiftly rose from her bed, tying her hair up and creeping over to her window. She noticed the box sitting on the corner of her desk and she tucked it under her arm.

Pausing one last time to be sure she wouldn't be missed, Leah carefully slid the window open and ducked through. She landed on the soft damp grass, feeling each blade whisper against the soles of her feet. This was the most peaceful time these days and Leah was grateful for a minute alone. She appreciated Jake's concern, but she really needed some space.

Heading to the small fire pit in the corner of the yard, Leah placed the box down and kneeled down next to it. She rummaged around the tin box full of supplies that was left beside the pit. Leah took a deep breath before placing the kindling and lighting the match.

It was time.

When the fire reached the desired heat, Leah turned to her past memories and opened the box. Her vision blurred, and her hands shook but she knew it was time. First were the letters. That option for her was long gone. After all, they don't allow a deferral over becoming a giant wolf in your spare time. She lit the first two and dropped them into the fire. The last letter however was gripped tightly in both her hands.

 _Dear, Miss Clearwater_

 _I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has admitted you to the Class of 2008…._

Leah's eyes scanned across the letter three more times before she found the courage to dip the bottom corner into the flame. She held the paper as inch by inch slowly blackened and crumpled into ash. Then, in what seemed like slow motion the heat licked at her finger tips and the last corner of white was gone.

Next Leah moved onto the lock of hair, tossing it into the fire without a second glance. Then photo after photo. Each one tearing her heart just a little more. The only one that gave her pause was the last. It was the last photo Harry had taken with both her and Sam. They were at First Beach. Sam stood behind Leah with his arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on her shoulder while smiling charmingly into the camera. Harry stood next to them, his hands ruffling Sam's hair while a wide grin broke across his face. His eyes accompanied by the crinkles in the corners and the laugh lines that had always been apart of his face.

" _Sammy! Your scruff tickles!" Leah giggled while pulling her shoulder away from his chin. Sam's deep chuckle vibrated through her as he pressed closer to her back._

" _What scuff?" Harry joked while coming up beside them. Harry reached up and ruffled his hand through Sam's hair. Something he had done since Sam had been a young boy. Sam turned to Harry and smiled gently before pulling Leah closer to him._

" _Okay you three say cheese!" Sue hollered from her spot on the towel that had been draped out in the sand. Seth was nowhere to be seen but all Leah cared about was Sammy's arms wrapped tightly around her. She leaned back against him and enjoyed his warmth. It seemed like Sam was always so much warmer these days and with the cool air coming off the ocean Leah wasn't going to complain._

" _Cheese!"_

When it finally felt like Leah had memorized each colour and detail of it, she let it drop along with the others. Bit by bit the box emptied and although it made her feel like she was dying, the weight that had been carried on her shoulders lessened with every item. It was hard to imagine that the trinkets and tokens that once meant so much to her, could just ignite like a scrap piece of paper and turn to ash. For some reason she thought that maybe they would be invincible to the flames. Like her love somehow protected them from their fate.

The last piece that rattled around the box was the one she was dreading the most. Her fingers traced the pearl carefully as she gripped it tightly. It was still so beautiful. A simple perfect ring to show the world that she was Sam's.

She remembered how proudly she wore it for those few weeks. Gushing to everyone how perfect it was. How perfect Sam was. How wonderful that night had been.

" _Sam! Sammy! What are we doing all the way out here? Are you crazy?! It's the middle of the night" Leah hissed out under her breath while Sam pulled her hand with a gentle tug. He had climbed up the old oak tree next to her room and tapped on the glass until he roused her from her slumber. It took him some serious convincing to get her to follow him back down the tree, but he had managed with a few kisses and a smile that he reserved just for her._

 _He just couldn't wait a moment longer. His Mom had given him the ring exactly a week ago. Just in time for her birthday and Sam knew now that he had Harry's permission, he couldn't wait until dinner like he had planned. Instead he decided the perfect way to ask would be just the two of them. Out on the cliffs next to the ocean and under the stars._

" _Lee lee! Come on! I promise it will be worth it!"_

" _If you think you're about to get lucky outside in the middle of the night you have another thing coming Uley!" Leah grumbled while rolling her eyes._

 _Sam looked over his shoulder before wiggling his eye brows at her. Then he picked up his speed to a jog and pulled her along. They were close now he could hear the ponding of the waves against the jagged rocks._

 _They emerged from the dense woods and Sam brought her to the edge of the cliff. Leah looked around confused before peering over the side._

" _I'm not jumping either Sam. What is going on?" Leah asked while she looked at him with a frown on her face. Sam finally felt the nerves. What if she said no? What if she finally realized she was so out of Sam's league. The silence started to eat at Leah and she could feel her heart race._

" _Sam?" Leah asked before cupping his face. "What is it? Are you ok?"_

 _Sam took a deep breath before he took both of her hands in his, pulling them from him._

" _Lee." He could feel the lump in his throat and it took three swallows before he finally dropped to his knee._

" _Leah Susan Clearwater. You have been my world for as long as I can remember. You are my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. You make me want to be better. You love with everything in you and you have shown me what a love like that is. You have shown me what a love like that feels like. I only hope that I have been able to show you the same. Will you give me the honour to spend forever with you? "Sam could feel the tears fill his eyes as he reached in his pocket for the velvet box and studied her feet. Carefully he pulled it out and opened it still not willing to make eye contact. He was so nervous he couldn't find the courage to meet her eyes._

 _When she didn't answer he looked up to see her face. Eyes wide and mouth open, Leah was speechless.. She gave no indication of what her answer may be and immediately he began to panic._

" _I know it isn't much Lee lee. I promise that It's just for now. I couldn't stand one more minute of not having you as my future wife… officially. I promise when we finish in Boston I will buy you whatever ring you want. Anything but please just answer. Lee?"_

" _You're an idiot Sam Uley." Leah chuckled before a sob broke through. "Of course I will marry you." She whispered._

 _Sam's eyes snapped to hers. "You will?"_

" _Yes Sammy. Of course" Sam felt the smile break out across his face. It was so big it strained his cheeks._

 _He wrapped his arms around her before pulling her close and nuzzling his nose against her ear._

" _I love you Leah."_

" _I love you Samuel Uley. I also might have lied. Looks like you're getting lucky after all."_

Leah could remember the feel of the ring on her finger and the taste of the ocean in the air. She could remember the feeling of the damp grass against her back and the feeling of Sam over her. They spent hours on that cliff. Planning the future, talking about the past, making love and holding each other.

Those memories were ones she had spent years trying to forget. It was the beginning of the end. In fact, to this day it still surprised her he hadn't wanted the ring back. After all Emily had everything else. The cottage, the last name and him.

" _I don't understand Sam! Please! Please just talk to me!" Leah begged while Sam paced back and forth in front of her._

" _Leah. I can't. I just need you to leave. Please. You're making this so much more difficult." Sam's voice was cold as he continued to avoid looking at her._

" _I don't understand Sam! You were gone for weeks. You just disappeared and now you're what ending this? For Emily? You don't even know her!"_

" _I can't tell you what you want to hear Leah. It's over."_

" _Lee lee. You call me Lee lee Sam. And you're my Sammy. "Leah reached out to grab his hand, but Sam was faster and took a step back._

" _I'm not yours anymore." Finally, he looked at her. His eyes hard and his jaw set. He was right, this wasn't her Sammy. This man was a stranger. Someone she didn't recognize._

" _Sam please. Please! You love me and I love you. I love you! I'm sorry for whatever I did. I'm sorry. Please! What can I do better? What can I do to make you happy?" Leah begged as the tears finally broke through and began to roll down her cheeks._

" _Leah. I'm sorry. I really am. But I can't do this. I know you don't understand but we can't be together anymore ok? You need to get your things and you need to go. "Without a second look at her, Sam slammed open the screen door and walked out of the cottage._

 _It would be hours before Leah would fall asleep with her mother wrapped around her in her bed. Not even aware that the ivory pearl still sat perfectly on her finger. Nor did she know she carried a piece of him in her. The perfect evening on the cliffside resulted in more than either of them knew._

Leah could still feel the cold hand wrapped around her heart after Sam had told her to pack her things and get out. Little did she know then, that soon she would be a part of Samuel Uley'slife again. Only this time she got to watch his happy ending from the sidelines. Leah looked at the ring one last time before carefully placing it in her pocket. She put out the fire and decided to head to the cliff one last time before letting go of this last memory.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm waitin' up, savin' all my precious time  
Losin' light, I'm missin' my same old us  
Before we learned our truth too late  
Resigned to fate, fadin' away

So tell me, can you turn around?  
I need someone to tear me down  
Oh, tell me, can you turn around?  
But either way

Hold me while you wait  
I wish that I was good enough (hold me while you wait)  
If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)  
My love, my love, my love, my love  
Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)

Tell me more, tell me something I don't know  
Could we come close to havin' it all?  
If you're gonna waste my time  
Let's waste it right

And hold me while you wait  
I wish that I was good enough (hold me while you wait)  
If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)  
My love, my love, my love, my love  
Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)  
I wish you'd cared a little more (hold me while you wait)  
I wish you'd told me this before (hold me while you wait)  
My love, my love, my love, my love  
Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)

This is you, this is me, this is all we need  
Is it true? My faith is shaken, but I still believe  
This is you, this is me, this is all we need  
So won't you stay a while?

And hold me while you wait  
I wish that I was good enough (hold me while you wait)  
If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)  
My love, my love, my love, my love  
Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait) 

I wish you'd cared a little more (hold me while you wait)  
I wish you'd told me this before (hold me while you wait)  
My love, my love, my love, my love  
Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)

Stay a while (hold me while you wait)  
(My faith is shaken, but I still believe) stay a while  
(Hold me while you wait)  
My love, my love, my love (hold me while you wait)  
Won't you stay a while?

Leah took a deep breath and headed west towards the cliffs. She could smell the rain coming and she wanted to make it before the inevitable downpour came.

Leah got about half way there before she realized how still the air was around her. She turned her head to look over her shoulder but was met with an empty forest. He may not be visible but she sure as shit could smell him.

"Sam." Leah turned her body, crossed her arms and waited for him to phase. She could feel her annoyance start to rise while she tapped her foot impatiently.

"Lee lee" Sam's massive form which had been previously hidden by the thick bush came closer and she could see that his face was twisted in grief.

"He told you." Leah whispered while taking a step back from her first love.

"Leah, how could you not?" Sam whispered while reaching out for her. "Why didn't you say anything."

"What was there to say Sam? You left. My faith in us was gone. I knew it wouldn't matter, you wouldn't stay." Leah argued back.

She knew when it happened that she would have to grieve on her own as she was resigned to her fate. Her Sam wasn't hers anymore and there was nothing to be done. She had lost him the minute he saw Emily. It didn't matter they were so close to having it all. Having everything they dreamed of.

"I could have been there!" Sam yelled while throwing his hands in the air.

"And you should have been! It shouldn't have taken a miscarriage for my fiancé to be there!" Leah screamed back, her rage boiling over.

"You left me Sam! You left! You walked away and never looked back. You didn't have to leave me. That wasn't the imprint that was you!" Sam's eyes widened as he watched Leah finally say all the things that had been left unsaid.

"You and Emily. You didn't need to love her. You didn't have to leave me for her. You could have been friends, you could have been her brother. But no, you two decided it was lovers or nothing. You both didn't think about me once. Not once! You put your needs above mine. As you always did. You always tried to hold me down. Keep me with you. It had never been about me. Ever!" Leah took a deep breath before lowering her voice.

"Even now, you can't let me go Sam. You can't let me move on. "Sam wanted so badly to deny her words but knew he couldn't. He had held on. He had held on to her anger and her resentment because at least it was something, At least it was a piece of his Lee lee. The imprint was consuming and although Emily had his body and soul, Leah still had his heart. Even after all this time. She was still the reason his heart beat.

"I know that I have been difficult Sam. I know I couldn't follow through on the maid of honour promise. I know that I have been a pain in your ass every minute of this entire mess. But fuck Sam. I am here, and I am begging you to let me go. I can't keep waiting for you so please. Please Sam! Please let me go!" Leah watched while it finally registered. Maybe he finally understood how very badly he had broken her heart.

"Lee" Sam paused "I am sorry. Truly, I am so very sorry. I never wanted any of this. I think about where we could be right now. We would have moved and finished our degrees. We would be married and happy and I know that future was so close to being ours. I don't know how to let it go. I don't know how to let you go."

Leah took a step forward grabbing his hand and placing the cold metal ring in it. Then she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. It had been so long since she had held him.

"It's not about choice anymore Sam. It is something you have to do. I need you to do this for me Sammy" She whispered against his chest.

"Do you love him" Sam whispered trying to keep his anger and jealousy in check. He could feel his hand tighten against the delicate band in his fist. He didn't have to see it to know exactly what it was. He knew this was the last time Leah would ever let him this close and he needed this last answer if he was ever going to let her go.

"Does it really matter?" Leah responded while pulling back. "He could never be mine. I know that well enough" She sniffed while pinching her eyes closed as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"I think he's already yours. At least part of him is" Sam answered while stuffing his fists and the ring in the pockets of his denim shorts.

"We're pack Sam. That's it"

"You and I both know that's not it Lee" She could see the tension in Sam's jaw while he turned his head and pretended to study the forest surrounding them. "He loves you"

"Sam" Leah sighed. "He has the spawn"

"If anyone knows you can love someone who isn't you imprint, its me. He loves you Leah and you need to protect yourself. You know how this will end"

Leah felt her hear beat hammer in her chest. Could it be possible that Jacob cared for her more deeply than she thought. Could he actually love her in that sense? Leah knew he found her attractive and obviously liked her well enough to kiss her. But love?

"Leah, don't. I can see what you're thinking. Don't" But Leah couldn't hear him over the pounding in her breast. The heat rushed up her spine and she took off before she could hear anymore objections from Sam. The pounding of her paws against the ground drowned out the sound of him calling her back to him.

Leah couldn't help but play every scenario over in her mind. Both the good and the bad. She knew she was playing with fire and that this was a disaster waiting to happen. But if she could just have a few more moments of being truly happy, wasn't it worth it? She knew the future was set in stone for Jacob. But what about the right now? What if she could have him. Even for a little while.

Leah hadn't noticed how much distance she had covered before she ended up in front of the Black's small red cottage. She waited and listened for her alpha, but she couldn't pick up on him anywhere. So, she decided to phase and wait. Looking around her she noticed the stock pile of shorts and t-shirts Billy had left out in the shed in case of phasing emergencies. Jacob's scent immediately enveloped her once and old t shirt passed over her head and Leah was grateful for the distraction.

Minutes or hours passed before she could hear Jacob's beat up rabbit coming down the winding road before pulling into the drive. She watched from the shadows while his lethal figure unfolded himself out of the car and stood to his impressive height. Immediately Jacob's dark eyes shot to her direction and he waited for her to make her presence known.

"Jacob" Leah whispered while running to him. In the last second, she launched herself at him throwing her arms around his neck and brining his face to hers.

Before he could protest, she took his lips in a searing kiss. The shock of it lasted a second before he responded. She could feel his arm tighten around her while the other hand cupped the back of her skull. He took control of the kiss while he angled her head and licked at the seam of her lips. Leah gave him entry and gently sucked his tongue before nipping at his lower lip. It seemed to only spur Jacob on as he responded with a growl and held her tighter. Sucking her lower lip into his mouth, he gave his own bruising nip before soothing the sting with his tongue.

When it felt like all air had escaped her and she could no longer take the heat, Leah pulled back panting. It was then she was hit by the sickly-sweet smell of the Cullen's. Pushing at his chest she distanced herself from him.

"What a welcome Lee" Jacob chuckled before reaching forward to brush a piece of hair back behind her ear. "But listen that is a line we should stay away from you know? I know I initiated the last kiss and that was a mistake. I wasn't thinking. "Leah felt her stomach drop as she searched his face.

"What?"

"Leah, I don't want to hurt Nessie and I sure as fuck don't want to hurt you." Jacob paused before grabbing one of Leah's hands, his thumb running back and forth across her knuckles.

"But" Leah didn't know what to say. He kissed her back. She knew he wanted her. At least on some level.

"Jacob." Her hand tightened on his and she took a deep breath.

"Do you love me?"

Leah watched Jacob's face for some sign she had read this entire situation wrong. That Sam had been wrong and that he didn't care for her as deeply as they thought.

"Lee" Jacob whispered before dropping her hand.

"Do you love me?"

"Leah, I've imprinted. You know this. "

"Do you love me?" She demanded. Why wouldn't he answer her?

"Leah. Stop. Don't ask me that. "Jacob had taken a step back and his eyes were wide in panic

"Damn it Jacob! Tell me. Do you love me?"

"Leah" Jacobs head hung before he looked at her. "It doesn't matter what I feel. What matters is the situation and the situation is that I have imprinted. I belong to Nessie"

"Jacob please. Please just tell me. Yes or no?!" Leah couldn't stand not knowing. She had to know.

"Leah please. It doesn't matter. Stop. Stop this." She could see that Jacob was on the verge of phasing. If he didn't love her why couldn't he just say no. The lack of denial was giving her a shred of hope.

"Yes or no!" Leah asked again. "I don't care Jacob. I don't care that Nessie is tied to you. I don't care that you will leave me. I don't care that eventually you will break my heart and that it is out of our hands. I don't care that fate has other ideas! Answer me. Fucking answer me!"

Leah took a breath and paused

"Do you love me?"

Jacob didn't answer. Instead he dragged her to him and kissed her with what could only be love.


	8. Interlude Sam Uley

**Not quite a new chapter. Just a small Interlude of the story.**

 **As always SM owns these characters though I feel she is undeserving of a certain she wolf and alpha ( even if she did create them and this world)**

* * *

 **Lately I'm getting lost on you**  
 **You got me doing things I never thought I'd do**  
 **Never spent so long on a losing battle**  
 **But lately giving up don't seem to matter**

 **Everyday I'm a slave to the heartache**  
 **And you're wasting away every night**  
 **I don't wanna leave you lonely**  
 **But I've run out of love this time**  
 **You know that I adore you**  
 **Though I couldn't give enough**  
 **Hope you'll be safe in the arms of another**  
 **'Cause I can't take the weight of your love**

 **Lately I'm getting lost on you**  
 **I tore your world apart like it was nothing new**  
 **Never bled so much when I didn't have to**  
 **I'm given up on a life lived after**

 **Everyday I'm a slave to the heartache**  
 **And you're wasting away every night**  
 **I don't wanna leave you lonely**  
 **But I've run out of love this time**  
 **You know that I adore you**  
 **Though I couldn't give enough**  
 **Hope you'll be safe in the arms of another**  
 **'Cause I can't take the weight of your love**

 **I had a hold on your soul**  
 **But I lost my grip, let you go**  
 **I should've carried us both**

 **Everyday I'm a slave to the heartache**  
 **And you're wasting away every night**  
 **Don't wanna leave you lonely**  
 **But I've run out of love this time**  
 **You know that I adore you**  
 **Though I couldn't give enough**  
 **Hope you'll be safe in the arms of another**  
 **'Cause I can't take the weight of your love**  
 **Of your love**

 **Hope you'll be safe in the arms of another**  
 **'Cause I can't take the weight of your love**

 **Lost on you – Lewis Capaldi**

* * *

Sam watched as Leah's silver coat gleamed in the moonlight as she bolted towards the Black's house. He could feel the cold bite of the metal ring in his palm as his hand clenched around it. He should have known it would come to this. He should have known fate wasn't finished with him. Finished with them.

Sam felt his heart shatter as he thought about everything he and Leah had lost. He knew most people figured it was just your typical high school sweet heart relationship, young love or puppy love that couldn't go the distance. But Sam had always known it was more. His love for Leah had been true and deep. It went deeper than he thought possible. Even now that love wrapped around him like a thick smoke and he carried it with him. He always would.

Now though, Leah had found a way to free herself from it. Free herself from their love, their memories and their past. Losing their baby seemed to be just an added heartache to an already bitter end. Sam wished so badly he had known. If only he had known.

Then again, if only none of this had happened. He and Leah wouldn't be here in tatters. They would be whole. His biggest worry had always been that he was undeserving of her and how ironic that it would also become Leah's biggest fear. That she was unworthy of him. Or at least it was her biggest fear before.

Before fucking Jacob Black. That damn kid. That damn kid was the last person to deserve her.

Jacob Black didn't deserve Leah and her love. He had done nothing to earn her devotion and trust and yet it was obvious that was who Leah had chosen to share her secrets. Things she couldn't even stomach to tell her first love. Sam felt tears burn his eyes before they slowly rolled down his cheeks, cooling in the night air.

And just as Sam was about to chase after Leah, the imprint pulled in his chest.

 _Emily._

Before Sam had even processed it, his feet turned back the way he came. All thoughts of Leah forgotten. The sadness and regret was pushed aside to be replaced with the warmth of the bond. The bond that clutched at his very being making him not Sam Uley, not Sammy but Emily's imprint.


	9. Chapter 9

**For those interested, each song was picked before the chapter was written so I do recommend giving them a listen!**

 **As always characters are owned by SM**

* * *

 **There is a swelling storm  
And I'm caught up in the middle of it all  
And it takes control  
Of the person that I thought I was  
The boy I used to know  
**

 **But there, is a light  
In the dark, and I feel its warmth  
In my hands, and my heart  
Why can't I hold on?  
**

 **It comes and goes in waves  
It always does, it always does  
We watch as our young hearts fade  
Into the flood, into the flood  
The freedom, of falling  
A feeling I thought was set in stone  
It slips through, my fingers  
I'm trying hard to let go  
It comes and goes in waves  
It comes and goes in waves  
And carries us away  
**

 **Through the wind  
Down to the place we used to lay when we were kids  
Memories, of a stolen place  
Caught in the silence  
An echo lost in space  
**

 **It comes and goes in waves  
It always does, it always does  
We watch as our young hearts fade  
Into the flood, into the flood  
The freedom, of falling  
A feeling I thought was set in stone  
It slips through, my fingers  
I'm trying hard to let go  
It comes and goes in waves  
It comes and goes in waves  
And carries us away  
**

 **I watched my wild youth  
Disappear in front of my eyes  
Moments of magic and wonder  
It seems so hard to find  
Is it ever coming back again?  
Is it ever coming back again?  
Take me back to the feeling when  
Everything was left to find  
**

 **It comes and goes in waves  
It always does, oh it always does  
The freedom, of falling  
A feeling I thought was set in stone  
It slips through, my fingers  
I'm trying hard to let go  
It comes and goes in waves  
It comes and goes in waves  
And carries us away**

 **Waves- Dean Lewis**

* * *

Jacob knew telling Sam was a risk. He knew that it could open a can of worms he had rather be left forgotten. After all, Sam was still in love with her and he had spent every spare moment he had warning off potential suiters or those in the pack who enjoyed watching Leah phase a little too much. Sam had always been a jealous boyfriend and that increased tenfold after the breakup.

Too bad Sam had forgotten that he was not the only one to notice her growing up. In fact, there was a time when Leah had been the apple of the rez's eye. She was the golden child of Harry and Sue. Born beautiful and smart and perfect. Anyone who had come into contact with her was immediately hooked by her hazel eyes and charm.

Sara used to joke that maybe someday Jacob would be lucky enough to win her over. For as long as he could remember, Leah had always been in his life. Even longer than Bella. Leah was the first person to show him the way the ocean tides would come in and go out. She taught him the trails and wonders of the forest around their homes. She was the first person to hold him after Sara's passing and the only one who stood up to his sisters after they had decided to leave him alone in the care of his father. A father who was still mourning his high school sweet heart and had little idea on how to raise a child on his own.

Leah was his defender and his protector. He used to imagine a future where he would be able to hold her and love her the way Sam did. Jacob could remember how much it had hurt him to see the couple at their first bonfire together. He had never imagined Sam Uley would even get a second glance from his beautiful Leah. It made him burn with jealousy and hatred.

Of course, in a matter of years that had all changed. The Leah he knew disappeared and became a bitter shell of her former self and it would become easier and easier to see her as the mouthy bitch she became. Not that Leah helped matters. In fact, it could be said that she even encouraged it. After all, there wasn't a better defence too keep people from getting too close.

It wasn't until she had joined his pack that Jacob was reminded of their past. Reminded of his childhood crush on the gorgeous girl. She was funny, sarcastic and witty. The playful banter turned into those genuine feelings Jacob had long forgotten about.

He knew he had been playing a dangerous game, but his heart had always been treacherous. It always had a mind of its own. He supposed it was the way Sara had raised him. She had always encouraged him to love deeply and unconditionally. The problem was that he seemed to have little say in who that love was focused on.

Taking a deep breath, Jacob could feel the beginnings of the pull in his chest. It had been a few days since he had visited Nessie and his wolf had grew more anxious. If only the idea of seeing her didn't feel like a betrayal to the girl he had left in her bed.

Jacob tried to get himself together before deciding a quick visit would be best. He worried that perhaps Nessie was feeling lonely and he couldn't have her concerned about him.

When Jacob got the Cullen's, he was greeted by Bella who stood outside the house with her arms crossed. She looked like she had been sucking a lemon with the scowl on her perfect face. It was times like this Jacob missed his human Bells. She easily would have turned scarlet at the sight of him in just cut-offs and a thin layer of sweat across his chest. Now she just averted her gaze before turning coldly to her husband.

"Jacob" Edward greeted with a faint smile. After all this time the two had come to an understanding. Both aware neither had much choice of that fate had given them. One a creature who would live forever, never quite human. The other, a man whose life had been so tightly intertwined with the supernatural, there was no way out.

"Hey. She still up? "Jacob asked while bounding up the steps. Edward gave a faint nod before pulling Bella toward their cottage.

Jacob pulled open the front door and was greeted by his little imprint basically flying at him.

"Jacob! My Jacob!" Her voice sang out as she wrapped herself around his waist.

"Hey Ness!" Jacob leaned down to hug her gently. His body still had yet to get accustomed to her rapidly cooling skin. It seemed the more she aged the more unhuman she became.

"I missed you my Jacob!" Jacob stood and let himself be lead to the grand piano in the sitting room. There Nessie directed him to sit next to her as she showed him her newest creation. It often threw him when she perfected skills that the adults around her had yet to master.

If Leah had been here she would have scoffed and instead insisted they play chopsticks. Horribly. Then she would have probably belted out an Elton song much to the annoyance of those around her.

Jacob had been so consumed in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Nessie had finished her song and was looking up at him with confusion.

"Sorry Ness! That was beautiful. As always." He praised before giving her a kiss on the forehead. Before he could dig himself a deeper grave, Bella came in to collect her daughter for bedtime.

"My Jacob, please come visit again soon. It had been so long since the party on the beach" Nessie murmured sadly while blinking up at him. Jacob felt a pang in his chest for disappointing her and nodded with enthusiasm

"You got it Nessie. I promise!" Bella arched one perfect eye brow at him before narrowing her eyes.

"Jacob has just been busy darling. He didn't mean to keep you waiting. "Bella stroked her hair gently before ushering Nessie out of the house.

"Jacob. Don't feel badly, she had barely noticed until today." Jacob whipped around to face Edward. He always forgot how easily Edward read his mind.

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Jacob hung his head as he felt Edward's eyes cast over him.

"Jacob, you didn't hurt her. She has been fine. Please there should be no guilt." Over the last few months Edward had been more than understanding with Jacob and his situation.

"How is Leah?" Jacob sighed, he should have known he would see every thought that happened to pass through his mind. Leah would kill him if she knew he had shared those moments.

"Yes. I believe last time you told me anything about her she threatened to neuter you. "Edward chuckled.

"She would make good on it too I'm sure" Jacob laughed before wincing. Nessie deserved better than to have her imprint thinking about another woman.

"She would understand. And even if she didn't, you deserve better too" Edward came to sit beside him while leaning his elbows on his knees.

"I know you and the elders believe that imprinting is the most important bond for the wolves. But Jacob, I honestly can't think of another choice that could be more important to a man. A man has a right to choose who he loves. You have that right. "

Jacob felt his jaw drop before Edward's words had even processed.

 _What the fuck was he talking about?_

"Your youth has been taken, your friends and families have made sacrifices just for us to exist here. The only person who has had more taken from them than you, is Leah. And I think that she deserves happiness. As do you. "

"But Nessie?" Jacob whispered "Nessie is my forever"

"Maybe. Maybe not. But shouldn't you also have a say?" Edward asked before studying him closely. "Think about it."

Jacob nodded as Edward stood.

"Oh and Jacob. Please keep this from Bella. She loves you and she loves Nessie. But sometimes she forgets that her love isn't the only one that matters."

Jacob stared at his retreating figure before hurrying out of the home.

When Jacob had pulled into the drive of and stepped out of his car he immediately was hit with the scent of vanilla and the ocean. There stood Leah in one of his old faded t shirts. Looking as wild and beautiful as ever.

"Jacob" Leah whispered while running to him. In the last second, she launched herself at him throwing her arms around his neck and brining his face to hers.

Before he could protest, she took his lips in a searing kiss. The shock of it lasted a second before he responded. Jacob tightened his arm around her while the other hand cupped the back of her skull. His fingers threading through the silky locks. He took control of the kiss while he angled her head and licked at the seam of her lips. Leah gave him entry and gently sucked his tongue before nipping at his lower lip. The sharp sting only made the fire in his veins roar with more heat and he responded with a growl and held her tighter. Sucking her lower lip into his mouth, he gave his own bruising nip before soothing the sting with his tongue.

Suddenly, Leah pulled back panting. Jacob hadn't even fought his way through the haze before she pushed against his chest and took a step back.

"What a welcome Lee" Jacob chuckled before reaching forward to brush a piece of hair back behind her ear. "But listen that is a line we should stay away from you know? I know I initiated the last kiss and that was a mistake. I wasn't thinking."

Leah gazed at him while her eyes ran over his face.

"What?"

"Leah, I don't want to hurt Nessie and I sure as fuck don't want to hurt you." Jacob paused before grabbing one of Leah's hands, his thumb running back and forth across her knuckles. Her skin hot and smooth under his fingers.

"But" Leah stammered.

"Jacob." Her hand tightened on his and she took a deep breath.

"Do you love me?"

Jacob felt the air rush out of his lungs and his heart race.

"Lee" Jacob whispered before dropping her hand.

"Do you love me?"

"Leah, I've imprinted. You know this. " Jacob could feel the panic creep in his chest. What was she saying?

"Do you love me?" She demanded. He couldn't answer. He couldn't find the words. He didn't know what to say.

"Leah. Stop. Don't ask me that. "Jacob took a step back trying to create as much distance as he could.

"Damn it Jacob! Tell me. Do you love me?"

"Leah" Jacobs head hung before he looked at her. "It doesn't matter what I feel. What matters is the situation and the situation is that I have imprinted. I belong to Nessie"

"Jacob please. Please just tell me. Yes or no?!" Jacob had never heard that tone used on him before. He had never seen Leah so desperate.

"Leah please. It doesn't matter. Stop. Stop this." Jacob felt the heat run down his spine and he clenched his jaw. He needed to escape, he needed to run.

"Yes or no!" Leah demanded again. "I don't care Jacob. I don't care that Nessie is tied to you. I don't care that you will leave me. I don't care that eventually you will break my heart and that it is out of our hands. I don't care that fate has other ideas! Answer me. Fucking answer me!"

Leah took a breath and paused

"Do you love me?"

Jacob couldn't answer her. He couldn't get the words out of his mouth. He didn't know what to say to her. How to explain what he wanted to say.

So instead he showed her.


	10. Chapter 10

**As always SM Owns characters... but the Blackwater love in this story is all mine. Well ours.**

 **All mistakes however, are mine and mine alone.**

* * *

 **Sweet dreams and promises**  
 **Too big to keep**  
 **Midnights and memories**  
 **That could have been**

 **Don't say I've ruined this**  
 **Try to forget**  
 **All the true but foolish words**  
 **I should never have said**

 **There's so much more that we could be**  
 **But oh I'll take whatever you can give me**

 **Every time that I'm falling, falling**  
 **You're the arms that I reach**  
 **When my guards are unravelling, ravelling**  
 **You're the words that I need to fix me**  
 **To fix me**

 **I'll keep it hidden now**  
 **Throw away the key**  
 **Won't let my guard down**  
 **Don't worry 'bout me**  
 **Midnight, I'm running home**  
 **It's for the best**  
 **Is this how swallows learn to fly**  
 **Falling out of their nest**

 **There's so much more that we could be**  
 **But oh, I'll take whatever you can give me**

 **Every time that I'm falling, falling**  
 **You're the arms that I reach**  
 **When my thoughts are unravelling, ravelling**  
 **You're the words that I need**

 **If you don't feel the same, don't say anything**  
 **I don't want this to change**  
 **'Cause any time that I'm breaking, breaking**  
 **You're the one that I need to fix me**  
 **To fix me**

 **Every time that I'm falling, falling**  
 **You're the arms that I reach**  
 **Every time that I'm breaking, breaking**  
 **You're the one that I need**

 **Every time that I'm falling, falling**  
 **You're the arms that I reach**  
 **When my thoughts are unravelling, ravelling**  
 **You're the words that I need**  
 **If you don't feel the same, don't say anything**  
 **I don't want this to change**  
 **'Cause any time that I'm breaking, breaking**  
 **You're the one that I need to fix me**  
 **To fix me**  
 **To fix me**  
 **To fix me**  
 **To fix me**

 **Fix me- Jasmine Thompson**

* * *

Leah couldn't focus on anything other than the feeling of Jacobs warmth surrounding her. One hand of his was still lodged in her hair, the strands wrapped around his fingers. The other hand was sliding up the back of her t-shirt. His rough palm hot against the naked skin, sliding across her hips then her spine. His mouth was demanding, bruising, even punishing. The slide of his tongue was lethal, and Leah could feel desire pool low in her belly.

She just couldn't get close enough. Pausing to pull away, Leah bounced on the balls of her feet before using the momentum to wrap her legs around Jacobs hips and her hands carded through his short locks of hair. The action took him by surprise before he moved his hand out of her shirt to cup her ass. He then grabbed a fistful of hair again before dragging her mouth back to his with a groan.

Leah let him set the pace as he licked into her mouth gently before running his teeth against her lower lip. When he was satisfied with his exploration, he moved his mouth down her neck. The short stubble of his jaw was rough against the soft skin of her chin and throat. The sensation caused Leah to grind her hips into his own. There she felt the evidence of his desire. He was hard against her core and she couldn't contain the moan that broke from her mouth. That noise seemed to set off a chain reaction as Jacob let loose his own answering moan before walking them both up the ramp in the front of the house and through the front door.

The heat was sweltering but Leah was unwilling to untangle herself from him. He guided them through the house with grace that no man of his size should possess. Leah hadn't even realized they had made it into his room until she heard the door slam shut by his foot. Within seconds Leah found herself pressed against the soft mattress and was surrounded by the smell of her Alpha. He smelt like pine and warmth and there wasn't another scent that was more comforting.

Jacob finally pulled his mouth from hers, pressing one last soft kiss to her lips before sitting back on his knees. Leah still had her long legs wrapped around him and slowly unravelled them before opening them wider to try and encourage him to be cradled by her thighs. Jacob smiled softly at the invitation before taking a deep breath.

"Leah, honey. Please just give me a second before I lose all self-control and embarrass myself horribly." His voice was a deep timbre, filled with longing as his eyes moved over every inch of her.

Slowly Leah pulled herself up into a sitting position and waited for him to say something. She could tell he was nervous and she immediately cursed herself.

 _He's a fucking virgin you dumbass._

"Sorry Jake." Leah whispered quietly before reaching forward and grasping one of his hands in her own. She traced his palm with her fingers while she listened to his heart beat slow to a more regular rate. Part of her was smug with the knowledge that she could create such a reaction in her almighty alpha. The other part of her was ashamed for her all but jumping him with her tongue down his throat before he even got a word out.

 _He still hasn't answered me._ She thought to herself.

"Don't be sorry. Please. I'm not. I'm just a little…. It's a lot for me right now Lee." Jacob sighed before flopping to her side. He shifted and twisted until he laid facing her. He then reached up and pulled her down next to him. They adjusted until they were facing each other comfortably, their faces inches from apart.

It was then Leah got another whiff of the sweet smell of the Cullens.

"How is she" Leah asked while ducking her head. She couldn't stand to see the look of admiration glaze over Jacobs usually brilliant deep brown eyes.

"She's good Lee. Listen. I.. I don't know what to say about any of this." He whispered

Leah swallowed loudly before nodding her head. She could feel the tears rise in her eyes and did her best to blink them away.

" I know. I'm sorry." She answered as a traitorous tear escaped past her lashes and rolled down her cheek.

"Hey. Hey. Lee. Don't do that. Don't apologize okay?" Jacobs warm palm came up to cradle her cheek before his thumb swiped out to wipe the water from her skin.

"Please don't' say I ruined this, I shouldn't have said those things." Leah cried while another tear followed the first's tracks.

"Leah. No honey. No you didn't ruin anything. This was in the works for years. But I can't make any promises. I want to but I .."

"No don't! Please. I don't need promises. I'll take whatever you can give me" Leah answered before ducking her face into the crook of his neck. She tried to slow her mind as it raced through the dreams of what they could be.

"You deserve more than that though Lee. So much more. I don't want to hurt you honey." Jacob's arms wrapped around her while his voice vibrated through his chest.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." As much as Leah wished those words were true. She knew that trying to keep her guard from coming down would be nearly impossible.

She could hear Jake inhale as he planned his next words carefully. She couldn't hear another rejection from him. She needed him. His arms, his warmth was what she longed for.

"Stop Jake. It's gonna be okay." Leah pulled back before leaning up on her elbow and looked down at him. She cupped his face before kissing him once softly.

"It's late. Let's just not worry about it now. Kay?" Leah asked before sliding back down and curling into his chest.

"Okay Lee." He answered with his lips pressed against her forehead.

Leah stayed in that position for hours. She listened to his breathing as it evened out before turning into soft snores. She counted his heartbeats until the light of dawn crept through the thin curtains.

Carefully she pulled herself from his embrace. Pausing to study his sleeping features. When he was a sleep it was easier to remember Jacob Black was really just a kid. A kid who had seen too much and had too many responsibilities on his shoulders. Leah wondered if she looked that peaceful in slumber. She pressed one last kiss to his cheek before creeping out of his room.

Leah could hear Billy down the hall, still deep in sleep as she made her way to the back door. When she was sure both Black men were peacefully unware of her exit, Leah quietly pushed through the door only to bump straight into a solid wall of heat and muscle.

"Woah there Clearwa-" Embry's eyes widened as her hand shot up to slap over his mouth. She lifted her own finger to her lips before jerking her head towards the forest. Embry rolled his eyes but dutifully followed the she wolf.

When they were out of ear shot Leah turned to him "What's up Call?"

"Wanna tell me why we had to sneak off into the bushes?" Embry asked with a smirk painting over his features.

"Jacob didn't get much sleep and he needs it."

"I'm sure. I'm sure he didn't and I'm sure he's gonna need it." Embry crossed his arms over his chest before wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Shut up. It's not like that"

"Really? Huh. Cause you reek of him and you were creeping out of his house. Not to mention you're wearing his shirt and …. boxers?"

Leah huffed before searching her brain for an excuse.

"Seems like it's exactly like that to me. And honestly, it's about time."

Leah could have sworn her jaw cracked at the speed it fell open.

"What?!"

"I mean c'mon Clearwater. Jacob has had the hots for you for decades. I swear he came out of the womb fantasizing about you." Embry chuckled.

"No. You're wrong. You're delusional." Leah eyed him carefully.

"Trust me. I've been his best friend his whole life. Dude, he was crushed when you started making out with Sam in Jr. High. Let alone when you became official. I had to listen to him mope for months. It was worse than how he was with Bella." Embry threw his arms around in exasperation before flopping to the damp ground.

Leah felt frozen. Maybe it was shock. Leah Clearwater was finally speechless. Her mind running a million miles an hour.

She didn't even notice the footsteps coming from the house or the magnetic presence behind her until a shiver ran down her spine.

"Hey Jake" Embry called from the ground before leaping up. "I was gonna ask if you wanna go to Pricilla's for some breakfast. But… I can see you are… occupied currently." He chuckled before throwing a obvious wink to Leah.

With that Embry made a stealthy exit leaving she wolf and alpha alone.

Leah turned to him before raising her eyes to his. Hazel met with nearly black. The air around them crackled with tension and it took all of two seconds before Leah was wrapped in his arms and her mouth was captured in a bruising kiss.

When he pulled back, he gently smoothed her hair away from her face before smiling down at her.

"I hear you've had the hots for me for years Black. Decades even."

"Well, there may be some truth to that, but it looks like it's a mutual feeling now Clearwater."

"Yeah yeah you big beef cake. Listen don't we have patrols to run?" Leah needed to get her head back on straight. She needed time before asking Jake what all this meant. She needed time to get her walls ready to come back up. After all, he wasn't hers.

Before he could answer, she leapt into the air and phased before her feet touched the ground. Plus being in wolf form meant he couldn't keep his thoughts from her.


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter is Mature. Be aware.**

 **Characters** **belong to SM and all mistakes are mine**

* * *

 **Settle down with me**  
 **Cover me up**  
 **Cuddle me in**

 **Lie down with me**  
 **And hold me in your arms**

 **And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed in my neck**  
 **I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet**  
 **And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now**

 **Kiss me like you wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**

 **This feels like falling in love**  
 **Falling in love**  
 **We're falling in love**

 **Settle down with me**  
 **And I'll be your safety**  
 **You'll be my lady**

 **I was made to keep your body warm**  
 **But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms**

 **Oh no**

 **My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck**  
 **I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet**  
 **And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now**

 **Kiss me like you wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **This feels like falling in love**  
 **Falling in love**  
 **We're falling in love**

 **Yeah I've been feeling everything**  
 **From hate to love**  
 **From love to lust**  
 **From lust to truth**  
 **I guess that's how I know you**  
 **So I hold you close to help you give it up**

 **So kiss me like you wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **This feels like falling in love**  
 **Falling in love**  
 **We're falling in love**

 **Kiss me like you wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **You wanna be loved**  
 **This feels like falling in love**  
 **Falling in love**  
 **We're falling in love**

 **Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran**

* * *

When Jacob had woken to an empty bed, he was sure he had dreamed the night before. The only thing that kept him from convincing himself it was all an illusion was the scent of vanilla and sea water on his pillows and on his skin.

He stretched before rising from his mattress. He listened to see if he could pinpoint the she wolf's location. With his brows furrowed he made his journey through the small house. He could smell her, her scent still fresh in the air around him. As Jacob came to the back door a new scent hit his senses.

 _Embry_

Jacob knew the last person who would hurt Leah would be Embry but he couldn't keep the growl from rumbling through his chest. His wolf didn't like members of the opposing pack near his Beta. He followed their scent and low voices until he reached them in the thick of the woods.

"Trust me. I've been his best friend his whole life. Dude, he was crushed when you started making out with Sam in Jr. High. Let alone when you became official. I had to listen to him mope for months. It was worse than how he was with Bella." Jacob could hear Embry's deep voice as he neared closer.

 _I'm going to kill him_

Jacob couldn't believe Embry would be so stupid as to tell Leah about his previous feelings for her. He had been thankful that those memories had never come up during their time as one pack. But now Embry was divulging all those things Jacob had told him in confidence and if the embarrassment wasn't enough, Jacob was worried this would only continue to give Leah more hope than Jacob could stand.

Although everything he was saying was true and Jacob did have feelings for her, he knew that he couldn't commit to her. He knew that eventually the imprint would be to strong and the minute Nessie decided she wanted him, he would be hers.

Jacob watched Leah's reaction carefully. She appeared to be frozen in shock. Completely speechless. It would have been comical if it wasn't for the feeling of weight on his heart. Leah said she didn't need promises last night. That she was going to be okay and would take whatever he could give her. But could he really do that to her? Have her for a mere few years or worse months, before turning his back on her.

She didn't even notice his approach as he came up behind her. Jacob watched her curiously as a shiver ran through her. He could feel the air around them change as the swooping feeling rocked his body. He wanted her. Desperately.

"Hey Jake" Embry called from the ground before leaping up. At least he had the decency to look at the alpha sheepishly. "I was gonna ask if you wanna go to Pricilla's for some breakfast. But… I can see you are… occupied currently." He chuckled before throwing an obvious wink to Leah.

With that Embry made a stealthy exit leaving she wolf and alpha alone.

Leah turned to him before raising her eyes to his Brilliant warm hazel eyes met his own. He could feel his jaw tense as he took her in. She was still in his clothes, looking more beautiful than she had any right to. His scent covered her, and he couldn't help but to feel a little smug about it. At least Embry knew she was his.

 _Where the fuck did that come from._

Before he registered what he was doing, Leah was in his arms with his mouth slanting over hers. Her lips were soft and warm under his own. He held her tightly before pulling back and smoothing her hair away from her face. He smiled down at her and felt warmth spread through her chest.

"I hear you've had the hots for me for years Black. Decades even." Leah looked at him smugly.

"Well, there may be some truth to that, but it looks like it's a mutual feeling now Clearwater." Jacob joked back at her. It was hard to keep his distance from her when she looked at him with so much care. She held his stare for a second before rolling her eyes and looking away.

"Yeah yeah you big beef cake. Listen don't we have patrols to run?"

Before he could answer, she leapt into the air and phased before her feet touched the ground. Jacob watched as she trotted off before following her lead.

" _What else did Embry tell you Lee?"_

" _Why worried I know all your secrets now almighty Alpha?" Leah joked back while scanning the area._

 _Jacob felt his amusement pass through the link to her. However, before they could bask in it, the cold feeling of guilt pushed forward. Jacob was worried._

" _Jake. It's fine okay?"_

 _But it wasn't fine. Leah was just starting to get back to herself. She was finally finding her happiness again and he was going to crush her._

" _Woah woah woah. Full of yourself or what? Hate to break it to you but my world doesn't begin and end with you oh fearless one"_

 _Jacob heard her words but couldn't help but notice the sadness that followed them._

" _Okay Lee."_

" _I'm gonna head south Jake. You follow up the north side and we meet back here?" She asked while turning her focus to the forest around them._

Patrol was uneventful but both wolves took their time. The silence between the link was comfortable and peaceful. Something both of them had grown used to after leaving Sam's pack. With little threat in the area, Seth got to go back to school regularly. Only running patrols on the weekends. It was something Leah had been insistent on and when Jacob agreed she was graceful. More so to not have his need to chatter every minute during patrols.

By the time they met back at the house, Leah was complaining of starvation.

"C'mon Lee." He called as he turned his back to give her privacy while phasing. "I'll make you something to eat"

Jacob heard Leah's quiet footsteps behind him while she followed him into the empty house. She perched herself on the counter of the kitchen, watching him with a heated gaze that made his skin burn. She dressed only in another old t shirt of his while he had managed to pull on a pair of boxers before she had a chance to see him. Nudity had been normal between pack members but after separating from Sam's, they did their best to try and keep some modesty.

Although Jacob could swear that the feeling of Leah tracing his movements was just as bad as being naked. She watched as he diced onions and added them to the pot on the stove. He felt himself clench his jaw has he caught the smell of her desire for him.

"Fuck!" The sharp feeling of the knife against his finger was a welcome distraction.

"Shit Jake! You okay?" Leah hopped off the counter before grabbing his hand to inspect the already healing wound.

Just as her fingers grazed the skin of his wrist, he felt the overwhelming need for her rise. He grabbed her hand in his and tugged her forward. Leah's mouth opened in surprise, but Jacob caught her next words with his lips.

He bent down to grab her thighs before hoisting her up to his waist. His hands smoothed up the warm skin of her thighs and he felt goosebumps follow his path. Jacob backed them up until she was pressed against the fridge and rocked his hips into hers. Leah broke from their kiss with a deep moan that seemed to only spur him on further.

"Fuck Lee" Jacob whispered as his mouth trailed down her neck. He left open kisses and nips against her flesh before turning them and following the same route they took last night. A new kind of hunger filled them both and dinner was forgotten.

This time when Jacob pressed her back into his bed, he didn't pull away. Instead he pulled her hands from his hair and pinned them above her head with one of his own. His other hand traced her thighs before sneaking up under her shirt. He stroked the firm muscles of her abdomen gently before looking at Leah for permission.

"Yes Jake. Please. I want to feel you." With a shaky breath Jacob leaned back far enough to grab the hem of the t shirt and pulled it up over her head. He let go of her hands and ran his fingers across her sides and over her ribs. Leah's own hands came over his shoulders and across his back. Smoothing the hard muscles she found there.

"Leah" Jacob groaned at the contact. He pushed forward to kiss her hotly on the mouth. It was rough and bruising with a clash of teeth and tongues. His hands slowly crept forward before reaching just the bottom of her full breasts. He pulled back to make sure she was still with him.

Before he could ask permission, Leah grabbed his hands and placed them over her chest. Her nipples pebbled beneath his palms and Leah threw her head back with a moan.

"Yes Jacob." He let the weight of them fill his hands before running a finger over the hardened tips. Jacob wasn't sure what his next step should be so instead he followed his instincts. His mouth moved from her neck to her shoulder. He licked the sweat there before tracing her collar bone and giving it a gentle bite. Then he scrapped the rough prickle of his chin down to the top of her left breast. He wanted his mouth on her. He wanted his tongue to trace every curve.

He took the first nipple in his mouth carefully, running his tongue over it before focusing on the second. Leah's hands went from gliding across his back to dragging her nails over her skin.

"Fuck Jake!" Her voice broke on what sounded like a sob. Jacob jolted back and raised his head above hers.

"Lee?! Leah are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Jacob asked concerned.

Leah chuckled before shaking her head.

"No Jake. No baby, I'm okay. It feels good. Too good." She answered while running a hand through his hair.

Jacob smiled at her before moving his head back down. He ran his tongue under each breast before sliding farther down the bed.

 _Fuck she smells so good_

Jacob ran his nose from one hip bone to the other before kissing his way back and forth.

"Lee honey. I have to taste you. Can I?" Jacob's own voice startled him. It was deep and full. Lustful even.

"Fuck yes Jake. Please."

"Lee, I don't.. I've never done this before. If I do something wrong tell me. Please" He waited until she gave a nod and proceeded to push his shoulders between her thighs.

Carefully he explored her with his fingers. She was hot and wet. _So tight._ He worked on coaxing every sound he could from her before replacing her fingers with his mouth. She was sweet on his tongue and he couldn't help but groan. He found that she preferred gentle soft touches which surprised him. As he continued to lap at her, Jacob felt her hands cradle his head before running her fingers through her hair. She helped coach him along with the movement of her hips and hands.

"There Jake. Right there. I'm close." She whispered before her body tightened around him and her thighs closed on his shoulders. He slowed his movements until he heard her breathing even out. He pulled back and crawled back up her body kissing her gently. To his surprise she kissed him back, managing to hide the wince at her own taste.

"I want you Jacob."

He could feel her hips rocking against his own and the pair of boxers did little to hide the heat and wetness from him.

"Are you sure Lee?" Jacob felt like an idiot for asking again but he had to be sure. He wanted her so badly but only if she was sure.

"Yes. Jacob. Please" She gasped out before grinding herself against his obvious erection. Jacob hastily dragged the cotton down before kicking them off. When he situated himself between her thighs he felt his body begin to shake with nerves.

This was Leah. Leah Clearwater was under him. In his bed, wet and wanting.

Carefully Jacob lined himself up before pushing in.

"Fuck _Lee!"_ Jacob bowed his head against her shoulder as he tried to focus on anything other than the feeling of her wrapped tightly around him. He pushed forward inch by inch until he bottomed out and held himself as still as he could.

He pushed held himself up on his hands that he had laid next to her head and moved slowly. When he watched her face however, he noticed her wince before biting her lip.

"Leah?" he asked panicked. As he tried to pull himself away she lifted her legs to wrap around his hips, locking him in place.

"Don't Jacob. Don't stop." When he opened his mouth to argue she continued "It feels good Jake. You're just… You're _big_. It takes some getting used to is all" She blushed prettily before leaning up to kiss him gently.

When he was sure she was okay he continued moving. Jaw clenched and arms tense. He tried to be as gentle as he could, not wanting to hurt her in anyway.

It wasn't long before Leah took notice of his resistance. She smoothed her hand across his hard jaw and kissed him again.

"Let go Jake. Let yourself go." She tightened her legs around him again and lifted her hips. It was like a dam broke and he began thrusting forward. The heat that had settled in his belly was now running through his veins and he knew without a doubt it was about to be over.

With one last grunt, the heat erupted leaving him a boneless heap on top of her. She ran her fingers across his skin and kissed his forehead while she waited for him to catch his breath. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he realized that he hadn't gotten her to finish with him.

 _You idiot._

Jacob grimaced as he met her eyes before casting them down in shame.

"I'm sorry Leah." Leah looked at him with amusement before laughing softly.

"Don't be. I'm not" She answered with a sweet smile. She kissed his nose quickly before he pulled himself off of her and laid to the side. He grabbed her around her middle and hauled her to his chest. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed about his lack of control.

As if Leah knew what he was thinking, she pinched his side.

"Jacob. It was your first time baby. And honestly it was pretty great for me. Don't be stupid." He nodded but kept silent. He watched as exhaustion over took her and listened to her steady heart beat.

It was then in the quiet of the night Jacob felt the cold sharp pull of the imprint.

 _What the fuck did I just do?_


	12. Chapter 12

**Not going to wait to post the chapters that I have written BUT the next few are just jumbled ideas right now so updates will slow. All characters belong to SM. Mistakes are my own**

Thank you to those who are reviewing!

* * *

 **If I say it loud, would it make it real?**  
 **And if you go now, would I feel anything?**  
 **When you're out on the weekends**  
 **Catching up with your old friends**  
 **Do they ask you 'bout how we've been?**

 **When you're walking home, do you think of me?**

 **And how I fell in deep when you touched my skin**  
 **How easily my hands left you shivering**  
 **Didn't catch our breath before we jumped right in**  
 **Now I don't know if we can make it out**

 **Breaking everything with a single touch**  
 **I don't even know how to make us stop**  
 **This might be the part where you lose me**

 **But I'm about to, I'm about to**  
 **I'm about to lose you too, ooh**  
 **Yeah, I'm about to lose you too, oh**

 **If you let me go, will you let me know?**  
 **And if we leave it here, are we letting go?**  
 **Of drive away's on the weekends**  
 **Hundred nights with no sleep and**  
 **Hundred miles with no seat belts on**

 **When I feel alone, do you think of me?**

 **And how I fell in deep when you touched my skin**  
 **How easily my hands left you shivering**  
 **How we went from how are you to how you've been**  
 **Now I don't know if we can make it out**  
 **Breaking everything with a single touch**  
 **I don't even know how to make us stop**  
 **This might be the part where you lose me**

 **But I'm about to, I'm about to**  
 **I'm about to lose you too, ooh**  
 **I'm about to lose you too, I know**

 **Ooh, I'm about to lose you too**  
 **Ooh, I'm about to lose you too**

 **If you let me go, will you let me know?**  
 **'Cause I'm about to lose you too, oh**

 **How I fell in deep when you touched my skin**  
 **How easily my hands left you shivering**  
 **How we went from how are you to how you've been**

 **Lose you Too- shy martin.**

* * *

Leah woke up alone in his bed. The soft morning light filtering through the window. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes before uncoiling her sore muscles. There was a dull ache between her thighs that was a true reminder of what happened last night.

Smiling to herself she rolled to his side of the bed and grasped his pillow to her chest. She could still feel him on her skin. It was so strong Leah was sure if she closed her eyes he would be there.

She looked around for the discarded clothes before pulling them on. She did he best to smooth out her hair and tried to hide any evidence of what transpired between them. Leah could hear Billy rummaging around in the kitchen and she took a few breaths to get her embarrassment under control. She pulled the hem of the shirt down as she softly padded her way down the hall.

When she came to the doorway of the kitchen, she cleared her throat and waited for Billy to look up at her.

"Leah sweetheart. How are you?" He asked keeping his eyes set on her own.

"Good. I mean. Fine." She stumbled over her words while trying to avoid the awkward talk she was sure was coming her way. Billy nodded before rolling towards her with a mug of coffee.

"Sit down Leah." Billy joined her at the tiny table in the corner of the kitchen. Both sipping their coffee while averting their eyes.

"Is um.. is Jacob home or?" Leah paused. She saw Billy wince out of the corner of her eye.

"He's out but I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"He went to her didn't he" Leah whispered while focusing on the steam lifting from her mug.

"Yes." Billy was short but his tone gentle. "He left late last night."

 _So he fucked you, waited for you to fall asleep and then snuck out. Way to go Clearwater. You're repeating history_

"Right, of course." Leah felt a lump form in her throat. She stood quickly before nodding at him.

"Thank you for the coffee but I should head home. I'm sure my mom is worried"

Before Billy could argue Leah was already out the front door swallowing loudly while wiping furiously at her eyes. She could hear Billy calling after her, but she couldn't stomach the shame she felt staying in that house.

 _No promises. Remember Leah?_

Leah ran as fast as her two legs would carry her through the trails leading to the Clearwater's. She was thankful that her mother's car wasn't parked outside. That would save her from at least one look of disappointment. Although she was sure Billy would soon be filling her mother in on her escapades with his son.

However, it would seem her brother was home and if his relieved sigh was anything to go by, he had been worried. He waited on the back steps for her before his eyes widened at her grief-stricken expression

"Leah?" He asked before opening his arms for her. She fell forward into his chest as he cradled her gently.

"Leah, please tell me you didn't" He sighed while pulling her closer. She could only nod before the sobs wracked through her.

"For someone so smart, you can really be an idiot Lee." Seth laughed under his breath before ushering in their house.

He directed her to the couch wrapping one of Sue's quilts around her. When he was sure she would stay put, he went to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. She accepted it gratefully before trying to collect herself.

"Seth, I know I-" Seth held up his hand and interrupted her.

"Leah you are an adult. You can make your own choices and honestly, I know how much you both care about each other. But Lee, I'm worried. I can't see you like that again. It breaks my heart to see you hurt. You're my big sister and I would do anything I can to protect you. I just want you to maybe protect yourself too."

Leah could only nod in agreement. She knew how worried Seth had been as a kid when Sam had shattered her spirit. He had crawled into her bed every night for two months when he heard her crying in the silence of the house. He had played with her hair and hugged her tightly promising her that when he was older, he would kick Sam's ass. Seth was pure and good and everything she didn't deserve to have for a brother

"Lee, why don't you go shower and head back to bed ok?" Leah looked up at him before she opened her mouth to argue.

"If I hear from him I will wake you. But please Lee." He stretched his hand out to help her up off the couch and pushed her towards the stairs. Leah glanced at him one more time before taking the stairs two at a time. When she reached the bathroom she gasped at her reflection in the mirror.

She hadn't seen this Leah in years. Her hazel eyes looked empty. Her skin ashy and her lower lip trembled. This was the Leah of the past.

 _One night and you've already given Black the power to hurt you. This isn't you. You're stronger than this._

Leah turned the shower on and stripped the shirt off her body and pondered if she should wash it or toss it. She chose the latter and pushed it into the small waste basket beside the toilet. She pulled the curtain back and stepped into the tub, letting the hot water cascade over her and wash the smell of her alpha off her skin. As the water relaxed her tense muscles Leah put each of her walls back together piece by piece. She was going to lose him. But maybe she could make him lose her too. Leah knew it was petty but she couldn't help but fell a little glad that maybe just maybe he would hurt like she did.

When she was sure every last inch of her was clean of Jacob, she turned the water off and towelled herself dry. She found an old pair of cotton shorts and one of her father's t shirts before climbing into her bed. There she was safe. Her bed smelt only of her and there was no evidence of Jacob in the air. Maybe here should could forget last night. Even for a little while.

Leah closed her eyes and was just edging the line of sleep when she heard her window crack open. Without looking she knew it was him. Leah held her breath as she heard him shut the window quietly before crossing her room to the bed. There was a rush of cold air as the corner of the duvet was lifted and then it was replaced by heat that could only be from him.

He pressed himself against her back before tucking them in.

"I'm sorry honey." He whispered against her hair. Leah said nothing, waiting for his reasoning.

He wrapped his arm around her middle before pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. But Leah you have to know, I don't regret last night." Leah turned to him with surprise.

"I don't. But this situation is complicated, and I don't know what caused the pull, but I just needed to make sure she was safe. That's all. I checked in on her and left."

"Right, that's why you were gone for hours" Leah scoffed.

"I had to clear my head. I needed to figure out how I was going to apologize for leaving. I promise."

Leah searched his eyes for any sign of dishonesty.

"I don't have any claim on you Jacob. I don't really have a right to be upset. I went into this knowing where your heart lies." Leah whispered

"That's where your wrong Leah" Jacob argued before lifting her chip up she he could kiss her slowly.

"My heart doesn't belong to her. It belongs to me and I get to choose who I give it too." Leah felt her heart race while her brain stopped.

"Huh?"

"I _do_ love you Leah Clearwater." Jacob whispered before pressing another kiss to her lips.

 _He loves me._

Jacob wrapped his arms tighter around her and curled his body around her protectively. Leah felt her heart fill with hope as she clutched him tighter to herself.

 _Jacob loves me._

If only she remembered that the other wolf of her past had said that same.


	13. Chapter 13

**Characters** **belong to SM...**

 **mistakes are my own.**

* * *

 **When you heart's on the edge**  
 **Barely hanging on like a midnight cigarette**  
 **When the nights don't seem to end**  
 **And that lonely wind is singing you to sleep once again**

 **I won't make a promise I can't keep**  
 **Like a river flows to the ocean deep**

 **It goes on and on**  
 **Bound to forever**  
 **Even when we're gone**  
 **It goes on and on**  
 **We'll be together**  
 **At the rising of the dawn**  
 **It goes on**

 **When your mind's on the loose**  
 **Slowly wearing out like a faded old tattoo**  
 **When the days all look the same**  
 **When that lonely wind keeps singing only you can ease the pain**

 **That's the kind of bond that you can't break**  
 **Like looking up at all the stars in space**

 **It goes on and on**  
 **Bound to forever**  
 **Even when we're gone**  
 **It goes on and on**  
 **We'll be together**  
 **At the rising of the dawn**  
 **It goes on**

 **Digging through the sands of time to find my way back home**  
 **Your memory's the thing that keeps me hanging on**  
 **To know I'm not alone, we're stronger than the bonds of blood**  
 **Even on the darkest days together through the valley of the gun**

 **It goes on and on**  
 **Bound to forever**  
 **Even when we're gone**  
 **It goes on and on and on**  
 **We'll be together**  
 **At the rising of the dawn**  
 **We'll be together**  
 **At the rising of the dawn**

 **It goes on – Zac brown band**

* * *

Jacob paced outside his house clutching at his chest. The bond was a cold hand squeezing his heart and as much as he had tried to ignore it, the bond got stronger and stronger. He had spent hours with Leah pulled closer hoping that she would keep the pain away, but nothing had worked

 _Nessie._

 _Nessie._

 _Nessie._

It felt as if his heart pounded to her name and Jacob felt like air was being pushed from his lungs.

"Son?" Billy startled the alpha as he rolled towards him. Jacob turned to look at his father with despair in his eyes.

"Dad." His voice shook with tears as he clutched at his chest again before bending forward to grasp his knees as he gasped for air.

"Jacob?!" Billy rolled closer to him grasping one of his son's hands in his own.

"Dad. Nessie" A whimper broke from his throat as he clasped Billy's hand tightly. He could feel the tug in his chest growing over each passing second.

"Jacob, Leah is ten feet away. In your bed. You can't do this to her son, you _can't"_ Billy whispered urgently as he watched his son try to catch his breath.

"I have to go. I have to" Jacob turned to leave before he felt his father pull him back to him.

"There will be no coming back from this Jacob. If this is your choice you have to let her go. If this isn't a promise you can keep, you have to let Leah go." Billy released his son before watching him sprint out of the yard before the russet wolf took his place.

" _You have to let her go"_

Billy's words ran through Jacob's mind the entire way to the Cullen's. He knew that the bond was the only reason why he had left her in his bed, causing him to sneak out in the dead of night. He just prayed that he could get Leah to understand. He could feel the shame sink low in his belly that, just hours before had been filled with desire and wanting.

"Jacob" He slid to a halt as Edward became visible in the shadows of the forest. Jacob whimpered when he saw the pity in his eyes.

"Jacob, she's fine. She was upset about her aunts and uncles leaving for Alaska next week and had a fit. She is fine." Edward promised as he watched the wolf pace back and forth in front of him. Whimpers and whines crawling out of him as if he was suffering.

Jacob turned his head to the cottage he knew is imprint was occupying. Edward gave him a gentle nod in permission following the wolf closely as the came to the window facing the girls bed.

There slept Nessie, her arms wrapped around the small rust coloured wolf he had given her as a gift a few months back. Seeing her whole and peaceful immediately lifted the weight on Jacobs chest. The relief was brief as the overwhelming guilt for Leah slammed into him.

"Ah" Edward sighed. "That is a tangled situation you've gotten yourself into Jacob."

 _Stay out of my head Edward_

"If only it was that simple. I am sorry though. Had I known of your concern, I would have called. Saved you from coming."

 _Why are you not angry?_

"Jacob I told you, I want you to be able to choose Renesmee if that is the choice you want. If you want Leah, I support that as well."

 _How? How can you be okay with me sleeping with Leah?_

Before Jacob could stop them, image after image came floating through Jacobs mind. Their kisses, him pressing her legs open while he tasted her, the feeling of sliding into her.

"Well" Edward cleared his throat. "That wasn't necessary. And I am not okay with you sleeping with her. But because I feel that Leah deserves more than a quick coupling. She deserved a higher level of commitment."

 _Ah right. You're a century old virgin. Sorry. Forgot. Marriage before getting laid._

"Was. Was a virgin" Edward corrected while he narrowed his eyes before sighing in frustration. "Jacob. Leah is a strong woman, but even the strongest people have their breaking point. Now that you've seen Nessie I suggest you head home and be prepared to grovel."

Jacob sighed deeply before nodding his head. Edward was right, Leah would never forgive him if he didn't explain his sudden departure.

"Next time I'll call. Goodnight Jacob"

Jacob gave a Edward a final yip before turning back for home. However, the panic of hurting Leah had Jacob hesitating to enter the house. Instead, Jacob turned north and decided to figure out how he would convince Leah he wasn't a complete dick.

Jacob ran for hours, playing out each scenario to himself. Each one left him feeling more defeated than the last. He knew he had fucked up and if it hadn't been for the bond Jacob would have gladly stayed in her arm's for as long as he could have.

The elders had told them imprinting was a great gift from the ancestors. However, none of them had experienced it themselves and the more experience Jacob had with it the more he was inclined to disagree.

Nessie was his whole world and he loved her completely. Or at least his wolf did, but that didn't take the feelings away from the man. The human. He had always assumed Sam had over exaggerated his love for Leah. Surely, if he had truly loved her he would have been able to fight the pull. He wouldn't have ended up in Emily Young's bed. But now Jacob understood, the bond was not only consuming, it was painful if it wasn't followed. It took the man it inhabited and twisted them until they were the perfect match for their imprint. It made them into someone else completley.

 _I have time though. I have time to still be me._

Jacob wasn't sure if he and Leah would have the future Jacob had always pictured but he knew for damn sure he loved her.

 _I need to tell her I love her._

At his realization, Jacob noticed the sun had risen and dawn had been hours ago. Panicked, he ran as hard as he could back to his house praying that Leah would be waiting for him.

His paws thundered against the ground as he cleared miles of forest. When he came to the clearing of his yard, he phased back before prying his window open and slipping through.

"Leah?" He called before searching for any sign of her.

"Jacob. She left about an hour ago. Headed home." Billy called from the kitchen, disappointment clear in his voice. He knew his father was angry at him for how he had abandoned Leah. Billy loved her as his own and had always disapproved of the pack's treatment of her. Jacob didn't have time to dwell on how he would explain this all to Billy. He needed to see Leah, beg for her forgiveness and offer her his heart.

Jacob threw a pair of cut offs before racing through the window again. Running on foot would take longer but he knew for damn sure Leah would castrate him if he showed up in the nude proclaiming his love for her.

Jacob snuck around the back of the Clearwater's before scaling up the old oak tree beside Leah's window. Carefully he cracked her window open and slid through before shutting it soflt behind him. Turning to the she wolf he could see her spine frozen and stiff with tension. He quietly crossed the room and lifted the corner of the covers that she had taken shelter under. He crawled in beside her before pressing her back against his chest.

"I'm sorry honey." Jacob whispered while pressing his lips to her hair. She gave no indication she had hear him so he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek gently.

 _She hasn't kicked me in the balls yet, so better than I thought._

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. But Leah you have to know, I don't regret last night." Leah turned to him with surprise.

"I don't." He promised "But this situation is complicated, and I don't know what caused the pull, but I just needed to make sure she was safe. That's all. I checked in on her and left." He pleaded.

"Right, that's why you were gone for hours" Leah scoffed.

"I had to clear my head. I needed to figure out how I was going to apologize for leaving. I promise."

Leah searched his eyes and he prayed she could see his honesty shining back at her.

"I don't have any claim on you Jacob. I don't really have a right to be upset. I went into this knowing where your heart lies." Leah whispered

"That's where your wrong Leah" Jacob argued before lifting her chip up she he could kiss her slowly.

"My heart doesn't belong to her. It belongs to me and I get to choose who I give it too." Leah's mouth dropped open while her eyes widened

"Huh?" If this was any other time, Jacob would have teased her for her dumbstruck expression.

"I _do_ love you Leah Clearwater." Jacob whispered before pressing another kiss to her lips.

 _Please believe me honey_

Jacob wrapped his arms tighter around her and curled his body around her protectively. He held her tight to him while praying fate would let him keep her.


	14. Chapter 14

**The summary should be angst and smut I suppose...**

 **Characters belong to SM, Mistakes are mine.**

* * *

 **Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right  
Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life**

 **I've been breakin' hearts a long time, and  
Toyin' with them older guys  
Just to play things for me to use**

 **Something happened for the first time, in  
The darkest little paradise  
Shakin, pacin', I just need you**

 **For you, I would cross the line  
I would waste my time  
I would lose my mind  
They say she's gone too far this time**

 **Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right  
Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life  
Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right  
Oh, Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life**

 **My name is whatever you decide  
And I'm just gonna call you mine  
I'm insane, but I'm your baby (your baby)  
Echoes, love your name inside my mind  
Halo, hiding my obsession  
I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy**

 **And baby, for you, I would fall from grace  
Just to touch your face  
If you walk away  
I'd beg you on my knees to stay**

 **Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right  
Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life  
Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right  
Oh, Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life**

 **I get so high, oh  
Every time, yeah every time you're lovin' me  
You're lovin' me  
Trip of my life, oh  
Every time, yeah every time you're touchin' me  
You're touchin' me**

 **Every time, yeah every time you're lovin' me  
**

 **Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life  
Usin' for the rest of my life, oh**

 **Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right (doin' it right, no)  
Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life, oh**

 **Don't blame me, love made me crazy  
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right (you ain't doin' it)  
Oh, Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life (I'll be usin', I'll be usin')**

 **I get so high, oh  
Every time, yeah every time you're lovin' me  
You're lovin' me  
Oh, Lord, save me, my drug is my baby  
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life**

 **Don't Blame me – Taylor Swift**

The warmth surrounding Leah kept her right on the edge of awareness. The body pressed against her should have made the heat uncomfortable, but the presence of Jacob kept her settled. His strong arm was wrapped around her, his palm laying just under the curve of her breast. One of his legs had hooked over her hip and she could feel him pressed against her ass.

She would have gladly stayed put if it hadn't been the pressing need in her bladder. Carefully, Leah lifted his arm before wiggling her hips away from him. It seemed like they spent more time curled in bed than anywhere else these days and it was becoming too domesticated for her liking. She was losing control over herself and if she wasn't careful, she would forget that Jacob wasn't fully hers.

 _You're losing it Clearwater._

When she had made her escape to the bathroom without waking Jake, she brushed her teeth before trying to cool her face with water. When she deemed herself presentable she tip toed back to her room.

"Jake?" She reached out and gently traced his strong jaw with her finger tips.

"Jacob." She tried again before shaking his shoulder. She received a muffled groan as a response before he reached out blindly for her. She gracefully dodged his searching hand before throwing a pillow at him.

"No way Black. We've spent enough time in bed. I'm sure Call has spread his findings all over the rez by now and the last thing I need is more fuel to my already burning reputation."

Jacob lazily opened one eye before rolling to face her. "I don't think we've spent nearly enough time in bed if you ask me." Jacob grinned at her before winking.

"Very funny Jacob. C'mon let's go you big oaf." Leah leaned forward to grasp his wrist before using all her strength to pull him out from her bed.

"Alright, alright Clearwater I'm going. No need to pull my arm from its socket." Jacob stood and stretched before snatching Leah to him. He tipped her chin up, placing a sweet kiss against her full lips before sauntering out of her room.

Leah could feel the grin stretching across her lips as she watched him. The fluttering in her chest was back in full force.

 _I am so fucked._

She followed behind him as he made himself at home in the tiny kitchen. He prepared two bowls of cereal at the table before pulling her onto his lap. Kissing her shoulder gently he tightened his hold on her.

"I'm so sorry for leaving Leah" He whispered against her skin. Leah knew that she shouldn't forgive him. She knew that she should be furious with him. However, she also had spent more than enough time in the pack mind to know that at the end of the day, imprints come first.

"I know" She responded before occupying herself with her cereal. When she sensed Jacob's eyes watching her carefully she pushed his own bowl towards him.

"Eat" She demanded. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss the fact she had taken his virginity before he left her high and dry. When they had finished, and she had put the dishes in the sink, sighing, she turned to him.

"I know you left to see her and I know this won't be the last time it happens. But if this thing between us is going to work at all right now, we need some rules." Leah looked up at him to see his guarded expression.

"I need honesty Jacob. I need you to tell me when you are going to see her. I know it won't be easy for me and I know you don't want to hurt me. But I can't always be wondering what is happening with you two while I'm left with no answers. Right now I'm assuming I have nothing to worry about… physically between you two for a while. But we never know how fast she'll continue to grow and when that time comes, I need to know."

Jacob stood frozen while he stared at her.

"I'm serious Jacob. I need you to be honest with me. Tell me when the bond is starting pull. I can't promise I'll be happy about it, but I'll do my best to be understanding."

"Of course Lee." Jacob promised before taking a step towards her. He held his hand out to her giving her the choice of contact. She reached forward with her own and grasped his warm fingers before interlocking them. He gave a gentle tug until she was back in his embrace.

"I promise I will tell you when I go see her. I promise to always be honest with you. I swear it Lee" He pressed his lips against her nose before pulling back to cup her face.

" I won't hurt you like that again Leah. I'll always be here when you need me and we will figure out the rest as we go."

Leah smiled up at him sweetly before kissing him slowly. Just as she felt his hands slip up the back of her shirt and his tongue ask for entrance, she pulled away.

"That's it Black. Get your ass back home and shower. The bonfire is tonight, and I refuse to show up looking rumpled."

"You could never look anything other than perfect Lee" Jacob reassured her before reaching for her again.

"No way Alpha. Not falling for that shit. Go on, get out. Billy is with Charlie today so go now and you can avoid an awkward conversation." Leah spun him towards the back door and all but shoved him out before slamming it. The desire for him was running hot through her and the last thing she needed was to ravish him in the kitchen with her little brother around.

"Alright have it your way Leah but you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be here to get you before the bonfire" He called through the door before leaping down the stairs chuckling to himself.

 _One sexual experience and that asshole is up to his eyebrows in ego._

Leah huffed in frustration before running up the stairs. She showered quickly, shaving and moisturizing. She spent time on her nails and for the first time in years, set aside time to do a proper face mask before running through her old skin care routine. When Seth finally pounded on the bathroom door, Leah realized she had spent the better part of the day getting ready for the night. Pulling the door open Leah ran into Seth's surprised face.

"Wow Sis. You haven't smelled this clean in years" He joked before ducking past her and avoiding her swat at him. Leah felt a little foolish at the amount of time she had spent pampering herself. After all, that was something she hadn't done since her last date with Sam. Ignoring the embarrassment in her chest, she decided that tonight she would remind herself that she had once been someone more than the she wolf.

When she opened her closet, she did her best not to reach for a tattered T- shirt and shorts. She hoped the risk of phasing would be low tonight as she really had set her hopes on wearing one of her old sundresses. She found a soft deep orange cotton one with thin straps and a tapered waist. It had been one of her favourites in her senior year and she prayed that it would still fit her now lean, taller frame.

Pulling it over her head she realized the hem was bordering on slightly too short for her past self. But Leah had long since lost the idea of being proper. In fact, she couldn't be bothered with the idea that some of the imprints would be horrified at the amount of leg that was on display.

 _They don't have to strip naked and run around the forest in fur. They can suck it._

Happy with her choice she applied a small amount of mascara to highlight her long thick lashes and added a spray of hair spray to her wild waves. She stood in front of her mirror face to face with what felt like a complete stranger. She had been so distracted with her reflection she hadn't heard Jacob's entrance.

"Holy fucking shit Leah! Are you trying to kill me?" Jacob exclaimed while pulling her to his chest. He was in a pair of cut offs as usual and his magnificent chest was bare much to her approval. Before she could respond, his hands were in her hair and he had taken her lower lip between his own. His tongue had found entrance and he was coaxing her own to tangle with his. He rocked his approval into her hips before tilting her head back for a better angle. She could feel his hands ghosting up her spine before she pulled back.

"That's enough lover boy. People are expecting us and I'm not giving them something to talk about let's go." Jacob whined in frustration before allowing her to pull him out of her room and out of the house.

Once they entered the small trail that lead down to the beach, Leah had felt Jacob's fingers interlock with her own as he pulled her closer. Leah could feel the nervousness set in. She knew Sam was aware that there had been something between her and her Alpha. Embry had probably told Quil and Jared but she wasn't sure what anyone's reactions would be.

Making their way across the damp cool sand, Leah saw the orange glow of the fire and the couples and wolves huddled close as they listened to Billy's retelling of the stories of her people. As they came closer, she noticed Sam's head snap in her direction. His eyes slid over her form before settling on the intertwined hands between them. His brow furrowed and she could hear the low growl vibrating through his chest. At the sound, the other wolves turned towards them. Most met them with a look of surprise, Seth rolled his eyes, Embry looked at them with a cocky smirk and Quil looked down right dumbfounded.

However, Leah hadn't expected the glares sent her way from the imprints. Although Rachel only showed mild surprise before smiling at her, Kim and Emily looked furious. Choosing to ignore them Leah held her chin higher as her long strides synchronized with Jacob's. Jacob pulled her to the far side of the fire where a vacant log waited for them. He sat first before pulling her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. Leah felt her face flush looking at the audience around them before she felt Jacob's warning growl. Not understanding, she turned to look at him over her shoulder in question. His eyes however, were locked onto Sam's before drifting over to the group of younger wolves. To her embarrassment and frustration, the pups had all been caught ogling her legs before moving up to her hips and chest. Most had the sense to look guilty before shifting their eyes back to Billy. However, Brady and only licked his lips before starting his assessment of her over again.

Jacob's lips pulled back over his teeth in a fearsome snarl before another warning growl pushed its way up past his bared teeth. This one sounding much more murderous than the previous.

"Alright enough Jacob." Billy cleared his throat before turning back to the pack and finishing his story. Leah did her best to listen to him, but Jacob had begun to softly stroke her upper thigh while growling under his breath. Just as she began to settle, Jacob stood and placed Leah on the ground before grasping her hand and tugging her toward the forest. Leah dumbly followed while looking over her shoulder back at the group. Billy had paused to glare at his son before continuing, Embry wiggled his eye brows at her and Sam looked ready to march after them. When Jacob felt her hesitation, he pulled her forward while muttering under his breath

" _Fucking pup needs to keep his eyes to himself."_

Leah would have laughed at his jealousy if he hadn't pulled her in front of him and backed her against the nearest tree. They were out of human ear shot but she was sure the pack could still hear them.

"Jacob what –" Jacob grabbed her chin in his fingers before kissing her. It was wet and hot. His teeth scrapped against her lower lip and his tongue flicked out against it. Before she could fully respond he pulled back before grasping her hair in his other hand and pulled it away from her throat. Once he had a clear path, his teeth then left quick sharp nips against the delicate skin there. For every nip he left, he came back to suck on the spot gently. The feeling of his mouth on her had Leah tilting her head back to grant him more room.

"Jake" she gasped as he nosed a strap off her shoulder and continued to travel over her collar bone. Leah felt wetness pool between her thighs as she rubbed them together to help ease the slow burning ache there. However, the action caused her scent to fill the air and before she could stop him Jacob dropped to his knees in front of her.

He nuzzled his nose against the skin just below her navel and slid his palms up her bare thighs before reaching for the hem of the orange fabric.

"Leah do I need to stop?" His voice did not sound like the Jacob she knew. It was deep and strong. Full of lust and wanting. It sounded like he was barely hanging onto the edge. Leah shook her head vigorously, her hair tangling with the rough bark of the tree.

"Do you want me to keep going?" He asked while peppering the top of her thighs with kisses. He was so close to where she wanted him.

 _So fucking close._

Leah nodded her head this time, the back of it thudding against the tree. Her hands were grasping for anything they could find before tangling in his hair.

"Say the words Leah. I need to hear them." Jacob's words rumbled against the smooth skin of her inner thighs before she felt the wetness of his lips sucking the skin there.

"Jacob" She sobbed with pleasure. "Please."

"Hold on Lee" Before she could ask what he meant, he had lifted both her thighs over his shoulders before standing to his full height. The bark was rough against her back as she slid higher against the tree. He had her pinned against it with nowhere to move as his face pushed the hem of her dress up out of the way.

"Jac-" her warning whisper broke off in a deep moan as she felt the sharp tug of cotton being torn off of her and Jacob's mouth lick at her heat. He sucked and nipped at her until she was a withering mess, her knees locking over his shoulders. She was so focused on the pleasure she hadn't noticed that her voice rang out through the forest. Embarrassed that her pack mates could probably hear her, she slapped her hand over her mouth. Jacob nipped at her thigh roughly in punishment before grabbing at her hand with his.

 _How the fuck is he able to do that_

She didn't have a chance to think about the physics of it before he had trapped her other wrist along with the first with one of his hands. His hold was strong but tender and he gave her thigh a gentle kiss where the stinging had been before. He kissed back and forth along her thigh before her hips rocked in encouragement. Jacob listened to the silent plea and focused his attention back to the wet heat of her core.

Her embarrassment of being heard was short lived as her orgasm rocked through her. Expecting him to let her down, Leah sagged against the tree. Instead Jacob hoisted her higher before starting all over.

He sucked her clit into his mouth before running his teeth over it carefully. He then moved to lick inside of her, tasting her first release before coaxing another one and another . Leah had lost all sense of time after the fourth. Her back ached as the bark had scrapped across her skin. Her thighs were on fire from the tension and her brain felt fuzzy.

Jacob pulled back before shuffling his shoulders out from under her thighs. He let her slide down before pinning her hips against his and cupping her ass. He spun them carefully before laying her against the cool grass. The change in temperature had Leah arching away from the dewy ground in surprise.

"Easy Lee. Hold on." Jacob cupped her hips in his hand before maneuvering her onto her hands and knees. "This okay honey?" He asked, for the first time tonight sounding unsure.

Leah peered at him from over her shoulder before nodding and bending forward to place her cheek against the ground. She heard the sound of his zipper before she felt Jacob hike up her dress again before smoothing his hand down her back. Noticing the scratches, he took the time to lean forward and kiss each one. Satisfied that each one had received a kiss, he leaned back before pushing into her.

His groan was drowned out by Leah's gasp. Her hands shot out in front of her, fingers grabbing fistfuls of grass as she braced against the thrusts.

"Leah. Lee, you're so tight." Jacob moaned as he continued to slam forward into her. He filled her so completely, the hot stretch boarded on pain. His one hand tightened on her hip while the other pressed her shoulders down. The angle sent her body reeling. She was so close.

Just as the coil in her bell snapped she felt Jacob fill her for the final time.

Boneless, the pair fell to the forest floor panting. Jacob carefully pulled out of her causing Leah to gasp at the sudden loss of him. He gathered her into his arms and placed her cheek against his chest. Just before sleep consumed her, embarrassment washed through her.

"Jacob! They fucking heard us didn't they?!" Jacob laughed quietly before pulling her closer.

"Probably, but now the pup knows I can make you scream" He winked at her before kissing her again.

"You're an ass Jacob Black" Leah grumbled half-heartedly while swatting at his chest.

"But I'm yours" He sweetly answered

 _For now. For now, you're mine._


	15. Chapter 15

**No must or Angst in this one.. Just some Alpha shit**

 **SM owns Characters. I own my mistakes.**

* * *

 **A dangerous plan, just this time**  
 **A stranger's hand clutched in mine**  
 **I'll take this chance, so call me blind**  
 **I've been waiting all my life**  
 **Please don't scar this young heart**  
 **Just take my hand**

 **I was made for loving you**  
 **Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through**  
 **Every bone screaming (I don't know what we should do)**  
 **All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you**

 **Hold me close**

 **Through the night**  
 **Don't let me go, we'll be alright**  
 **Touch my soul and hold it tight**  
 **I've been waiting all my life**  
 **I won't scar your young heart**  
 **Just take my hand**

 **'Cause I was made for loving you**  
 **Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through**  
 **Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do**  
 **All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you**

 **Please don't go, I've been waiting so long**  
 **Oh, you don't even know me at all**  
 **But I was made for loving you**

 **I was made for loving you**  
 **Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through**  
 **Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do**  
 **All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you**

 **I Was Made For Loving You – Tori Kelly.**

* * *

Jacob could feel Leah start to rouse from sleep as he stoked her hair softly. It was still dark out and they had only been curled together on the cool grass for a few hours. He could hear the last of the group leave the bonfire as the fire crackled twice more before the searing sound of water hitting the hot embers filled the silent night air.

Jacob had been watching the stars while his she wolf slept soundly on his chest. He felt her fingers twitch against his skin before a yawn warned him that she was awake. He smiled softly at her while she blinked her warm hazel eyes at him.

"What time is it?" Her usual honey voice was rough with sleep as she peered around them.

"It's late honey, we should head out." Leah nodded before standing. As she readjusted her dress, Jacob noticed her wince.

"You okay Lee?" He asked concerned that he had been too rough.

"Just tender. I suppose multiple orgasms does that to a girl." He knew her tone was meant to be snarky, but he couldn't help the pride that filled his chest. He chuckled quietly while he grabbed her hand and directed them back to rez.

"You're welcome." He offered while smiling smugly at her. Leah looked at him with narrowed eyes before a frown came across.

"Where exactly did you learn how to do that Jacob?" She asked suspiciously. He tried to not let her questioning glace wound his pride. He felt a blush sweep across his cheeks while the heat flamed his face.

"Ugh…." He looked off to the side trying to avoid her sharp hazel eyes.

"Jacob!?" she pushed before sliding to a halt, tugging him to face her.

' Don't get mad." He plead while he tucked his chin. " But I kinda asked Paul"

"What?!" Leah shouted before giving him a hard shove. "What the fuck Black!?"

"Look, we both know he's been around the block and he knows what he's doing. As gross as that is to think about know with the whole Rachel thing." He shrugged helplessly.

" I know our first time was less than great for you and I didn't want to disappoint you." Leah rolled her eyes with a sigh .

"You're an idiot." She grabbed his hand again before starting the treck home. "But talk to any of those morons again about our sex life and I'll end you" She promised.

Jacob smiled at her, unable to keep the grin off his face before kissing her sweetly on the cheek. The walk home took longer than usual as he kept stopping to kiss her or touch her. He couldn't get enough of her. He walked her to the back door of her house before cupping her face in his strong hands.

"I'd like to take you out tomorrow Lee." He whispered while nuzzling his nose against hers.

"Out huh? Like in the woods again?" She raised a brow with a smirk.

"No, like a proper date. You and me on the town." Jacob swore his heart stopped as the most beautiful smile broke out across her face. It was the smile he remembered from their childhood the one that left little doubt to the happiness Leah was feeling. It was so pure, it almost hurt to look at it.

She nodded her head before kissing him swiftly and disappearing through the door.

"I'll be here at 4 o'clock sharp Clearwater!" Jacob called with his hands cupped around his mouth before turning on his heel and heading home. Jacob decided to take the scenic route home in hopes that by the time he got to the Black residence Billy would be fast asleep.

He made it to the half way point before he felt the frustration course through him at the familiar scent.

"Oh for fuck sakes Uley. You're like a fucking virus I swear." He growled out before turning to meet Sam. Sam glared at him from a few feet away with his arms crossed. Jaw clenched and muscles ready to pounce as he surveyed Jacob from head to toe.

"That was quite a performance back at the beach Jacob." He snarled.

"Oh yeah? Enjoy it did you? I wondered how it would feel for you to hear Leah cum for the first time." Jacob glared back before snarling at him.

"Is that all she is to you pup? She just a piece of ass eh?"

Jacob strode forward before coming nose to nose with the other alpha. The few inches Jacob had on him caused Sam to lift his eyes up.

 _Good. That's right dick head. Look up at your Alpha._

"Shut your fucking mouth Uley or I'll shut it for you." Jacob snapped before taking a step back.

Sam sighed before breaking eye contact. He let his arms drop and rolled the tension out of his neck. Jacob took it as a sign that there wasn't going to be a fight this time around.

"Look Jacob, I'm just here to warn you ok?"

"If this is about imprinting and Nessie save your breath and move on Sam. I'm done with this repeat performance."

"It's about the elders and the girls actually. Listen they are less than pleased at what you two are doing right now and you and I both know it won't be you who feels the brunt of it."

" **Tell me now"** Jacob ordered.

"The council thinks you are being careless. I can't disagree with that, but they seem to think it is Leah who is causing the issue. That she's sticking her nose in something she has no business in. They think she's trying her luck again at someone who is destined to be with their imprint. Again." He winced "The girls are also worried that maybe she's taking you away from your soulmate."

"You mean Emily and Kim. That's who you mean." Jacob accused while Sam shrugged. "Of course they think that. They are the two that have the most to lose."

"I'm just here to warn you that Leah is about to have a shit storm coming her way and it's not fair that you get off scot free. So, if you care about her like you swear you do, step in Jacob. Step in. Because I sure as fuck didn't when I had the chance to."

Jacob nodded while he silently planned the talk he would have with the council.

"Alright thanks Uley." Jacob didn't bother with any other pleasantries while he headed home. Much to his dismay, Billy sat on the front porch waiting for him while a frown painted over his usual carefree face.

"Dad." Jacob nodded at him before attempting to bypass him.

"Get your ass back here boy" Billy rarely, if ever used that tone on his children and Jacob knew he was in for it. Slouching his shoulders, tail between his legs, Jacob turned and perched on the porch swing next to his father.

" You have some nerve to behave that way Jacob. Leah does not deserve the treatment you have given her the last few days. Not to mention you are the Alpha and future chief of this rez. I expect more from you as my son and as a man."

"Dad, I promise I wasn't doing anything to show up anyone. Well not completely."

"Really? That's why you could barely keep you snarling and snapping to yourself. You know those kids are harmless."

"They had no right. She's _MINE"_ Jacob could feel the rage shiver down his spine before he could stop it and he saw his father's eyes widen and brows lift to his hairline. Jacob blew a gust of air out before rubbing a hand over his face.

"Jacob, Son. What was that about?" Billy asked in concern while placing a gentle hand on his son's knee.

"I don't know old man. I have little control when it comes to Leah these days and those punks just set me off." Billy seemed lost in thought as he turned his head to study the night air. He seemed puzzled and concerned.

"Dad?" Jacob asked.

"Go to bed son. You need the sleep and please for the love of God, stay in your own bed tonight ok?" Jacob chuckled before ruffling his father's hair and standing up. He gave Billy and squeeze on his shoulder before passing thorough the screen door.

"Oh and Jacob, if you ever act that way with that girl again, I will loan Sue my shot gun. Got it?"

"Got it dad. Scouts honour." Jacob swore before ducking inside.

"Oh Harry, what have they gotten themselves into" Billy Black whispered up to the heavens.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi everyone. I'm back! All mistakes are my own and the story and characters are SM's.**

 **I hope everyone is safe and sound out there. It is a crazy world out there.**

* * *

 **Combat, I'm ready for combat**  
 **I say I don't want that, but what if I do?**  
 **'Cause cruelty wins in the movies**  
 **I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you**

 **Easy they come, easy they go**  
 **I jump from the train, I ride off alone**  
 **I never grew up, it's getting so old**  
 **Help me hold onto you**

 **I've been the archer**  
 **I've been the prey**  
 **Who could ever leave me, darling?**  
 **But who could stay?**

 **Dark side, I search for your dark side**  
 **But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?**  
 **And I cut off my nose just to spite my face**  
 **Then I hate my reflection for years and years**

 **I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost**  
 **The room is on fire, invisible smoke**  
 **And all of my heroes die all alone**  
 **Help me hold onto you**

 **I've been the archer,**  
 **I've been the prey**  
 **Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?**  
 **But who could stay?**

 **(I see right through me, I see right through me)**

 **'Cause they see right through me**  
 **They see right through me**  
 **They see right through**  
 **Can you see right through me?**  
 **They see right through**  
 **They see right through me**  
 **I see right through me**  
 **I see right through me**

 **All the king's horses, all the king's men**  
 **Couldn't put me together again**  
 **'Cause all of my enemies started out friends**  
 **Help me hold onto you**

 **I've been the archer**  
 **I've been the prey**  
 **Who could ever leave me, darling?**  
 **But who could stay?**  
 **(I see right through me, I see right through me)**

 **Who could stay?**  
 **Who could stay?**  
 **Who could stay?**  
 **You could stay**  
 **You could stay**  
 **You**

 **Combat, I'm ready for combat**

 **Arhcer- Taylor Swift.**

* * *

Leah knew she had seriously been neglecting her job as a sister and daughter recently and promised herself she would not spend the day focused on her Alpha. Although her stomach twisted with nerves at the thought of her date later in the day, she tried to focus instead on making sure Seth had caught up on his school work and the house was organized for Sue.

Passing her brother who was hunched over his text book with a spoon hanging from his mouth, she did her best to annoy him by ruffling his hair and swiping her finger in his mountain of chocolate ice cream.

"Hey!" He scolded as he swatted at her hand before covering the bowl with his other hand.

"Sorry Sethy." She winked at him as she puttered around the kitchen cleaning and humming under her breath. She could feel her brother eye her suspiciously, his text book forgotten.

"….. Leah are you… humming?" Seth asked with a raised eye brow before narrowing his eyes at her. She stuck her tongue out in retaliation as she scrubbed the sink clean. She knew Seth was worried about her and Jacob. He had been the only one she would let close to her after Sam and her father. He had been the only reason why she pushed through phasing, though not without a few close calls. If it hadn't been for Jacob, Seth would have lost his sister in the new born war. Not that Seth was aware of that previous plan.

She could feel his gaze burning into the back of her head for the next hour while she cleaned every inch of the counter. Leah tried to ignore him but she could feel the annoyance curl in her belly, the heat was rising up her spine. Even after all this time, the wolf's temper hadn't calmed.

"What Seth?" she turned on her heel before throwing the sponge at his forehead. He caught it in his fist, but the remaining soap squeezed out between his fingers, splattering on his face.

"Nothing Lee, I just haven't seen you like this for a long time." He tried to give her a soft smile but it look more like a wince. Leah chose to ignore the conversation and instead made her way through the tiny house. She didn't want to fight with Seth again over this. He had shown his disproval for the close relationship between her and Jacob earlier in the year. At that point they had only been friends and now they were..

 _Lovers? A couple? Partners?_

She didn't even know. She knew Jacob thought he loved her and she loved him. Whatever it was, they would figure it out. She hoped. She kept herself busy for the rest of the day, cleaning and dusting. Sue had been working double shifts and spending her free time in Forks. Leah knew she couldn't resent her mom for finding happiness, but she couldn't help but feel a tug at her heart realizing Sue hadn't spent more than a couple days a week in their home.

 _No wonder there is enough dust in here to fill the Sahara_

She supposed as a grown adult, it shouldn't rely on her mother to clean a house that had two were wolves as occupants. Wiping the sweat off her forehead, Leah looked at the clock hanging in the living room. "Fuck" she swore under her breath before racing upstairs. She tore her clothes off tossing them in a pile in the corner of her room before running to the bathroom. She swore she made an all time record in the speed she finished washing her body, shaving every inch of her long legs and managing to detangle her hair. Leaving her towel on the door knob she ran down the hall while she heard Seth chuckle under his breath. She was back in her room before the water had dried on her skin, elbows deep in her top drawer. She was so focused on finding matching panties to her favourite lacy black bra she didn't notice the other presence in her room. Big warm rough hands slid around her hips before tugging her backwards.

"You don't need those." Leah immediately threw her elbow back into a solid stomach and brought her heel into a jean clad shin.

"Ow! Fuck Lee!" Leah spun to face Jake as he rubbed his side just under his ribs. "Your elbows are boney as fuck." He chuckled before dropping his gaze down. Even now his mouth fell slack and eyes widened at her body. She rolled her eyes before shoving him aside.

"I told you, you don't need those. Personally, I'd have you like this." He chuckled before pulling her hand and bringing it to his lips. Leah could hardly pretend she was truly annoyed when he did things like that. Instead she rolled her eyes and ushered him out of her room.

"Okay okay! I'm going" He laughed while holding his hands up in surrender. When the door was firmly shut, Leah turned back to her closet praying she would get her libido under control. Finding a pair of old but fashionable cotton shorts and a nice button-down blouse she decided that would be the best she'd get. Slipping on a pair of simple flats Leah deemed herself presentable.

She skipped down the stairs, eyes roaming around the ground floor searching for her Alpha. There leaning against her front door was Jacob Black. He was wearing light washed jeans that fit his toned long legs in a sleek but sexy way. His simple black t-shirt shouldn't have been anything special, but it clung to his chest in a sinful way. His shoulders looked massive and it made his arms look thick and strong. Her eyes traced up his throat and she noticed his Adam's apple bob with a deep swallow before tracing his shadowed strong jaw. He really had a perfect mouth. His nose was straight and strong and then she noticed his eyes. The normal deep chocolate had darkened to a midnight black as they took in her long legs. When they finally flickered up to meet hers, a deep growl rumbled out of his chest. The sound alone had Leah rubbing her thighs together and she felt her gut clench.

Leah noticed his nostrils flare before a blush creeped into her cheeks. She knew he could smell her arousal. Releasing a deep breath Leah took the last three steps in one graceful jump before meeting Jacob toe to toe. He smiled down at her before crashing his mouth against hers. She really should have been annoyed at him for tangling her hair around his fingers and for running her nude lip that had taken concertation to paint on. But all she could think about was his mouth and his heat and his body pressed against hers. She was one heartbeat from ripping the button on his jeans open before she finally pulled back.

 _Self-control you hussy._

Leah watched has Jacob licked his lips before grinning at her. He shrugged sheepishly before looking around frantically. Leah watched him with confusion as he jogged into the kitchen before coming back out with a hand behind his back.

"These are for you." He pulled his hand out and presented her with a bouquet of daisies and baby's breath. Leah could feel her shock on her face. She hadn't had anyone bring her flowers since her 18th birthday when her father had surprised her with a bouquet looking very similar to the one in Jacob's hand.

Taking the flowers from him, she stepped up onto her toes to sweetly kiss his cheek. "Thank you" her voice broke gently over the words. Leah quickly placed them in water before turning back to Jacob.

"Ready?" he asked while holding out his hand. She nodded and grasped his fingers following him out the front door. Jacob led her to his car before opening her door and helping her in. The simple action made Leah feel like a teenager again. They drove in silence for what felt like hours. Jacob's hand clasped in hers while he watched her from the corner of his eye. Leah was too nervous to say anything. Afraid to break the moment.

They pulled into the lot of the only sit-down spot in Forks where you could get a meal without ordering off a paper stained menu. She and Sam had never gone due to the cost, but she had always imagined being able to someday.

She hadn't even noticed Jacob had parked and was at her door holding it open for her. Leah followed him in and waited next to him while he gave the hostess his name. He had requested a table at the back. It offered privacy and there had been a bottle of wine placed on the table. Holding out her chair, Jacob pushed her closer to the table before taking his own seat.

He poured her a glass of white wine before taking a sip of his own. He grimaced at the taste before wrinkling his nose. Leah laughed loudly as she covered her mouth.

"Not a fan Jacob?" She asked. "How did you even get a bottle you aren't even legal?" She smirked at him.

"Look at me. No one was gonna question this." He winked back before attempting another sip. "Ugh seriously how do people drink this shit." Leah laughed before taking a big swing of her own. The alcohol burned a little going down, but it helped with the nerves.

Dinner passed with ease. Both enjoying the quiet night together. Dinner was good but didn't manage to fill their hungry stomachs and by the questioning glances of the staff, they really shouldn't order more. When the bill came, Leah had reached for it before Jacob snatched it up and tisked at her.

"No way Clearwater. My girl is not buying our first dinner together." Leah rolled her eyes before smiling softly at him. The drive back was just as quiet but now it was not out of nerves but rather comfort.

"I don't want to say good night yet. Want to come over? Maybe help with the old bike?" Jacob knew Leah had always loved watching Harry and Jacob tinker with old cars and parts.

"Yeah." She nodded briskly before bringing his hand to her mouth. She kissed his fingers softly then turned up the radio. The Black's house was filled with light which meant Billy was home. She tried not to let the disappointment show on her face as Jacob drove around back to the garage. Leah watched him turn the key and get ready to pull himself out of his side. Just as he was about to open the latch, Leah placed a palm on his chest. Jacob looked over at her with confusion. Before he could ask, Leah swung a leg over the middle console and perched on his lap. Jacob's hands immediately cupped her hips while he smiled up at her.

The space was small, and Leah could feel the roof just a hair away from her head. Her knees were cramped against his thighs but the moment her hips rocked into his all the discomfort was forgotten. He was hard and pressing against the confinement of his jeans. His denim layer and her cotton did nothing to keep the heat at bay. Impatiently, Leah fumbled with his button and zipper before managing to pull him out of the fabric. Leah tore at her own shorts until they pooled around one ankle. Unable to wait any longer Leah raised herself on her knees and sunk down onto his length. The stretch still made her eyes sting and she felt Jacob groan against her throat.

"Leah." He moaned before pulling her hips harder against his own. Taking the cue, Leah raised herself on her knees again and repeated the motion. Rocking her hips and grinding herself down onto Jacob had her seeing stars. His mouth was against her neck as she moved, each push down coming faster and faster until she felt Jacob stiffen beneath her. Knowing she was close Leah swirled her hips twice more before falling over the edge with him.

Holding his head against her breast, Leah tried to catch her breath. She could feel Jacob panting against her skin, matching her rhythm. Pulling back she kissed him deeply before moving back to her own seat. She wriggled, pulling up her shorts and tried to smooth out her shirt. Opening her door she waited for Jacob to meet her.

"Leah, you are fucking incredible." Leah rolled her eyes before pinching his side.

"Yeah yeah. Rocked your world I know." She smiled smugly. He pulled her against his chest and tilted his chin down. Just before their lips met, Leah heard the back door open.

"Boy! Stop groping the poor girl and get in here. " Billy shouted and rolled back inside. Sighing Jacob grumbled under his breath

"Fucking old man ruins everything" Leah playfully chuckled before pulling her massive alpha to the house. Billy was seated at the kitchen table waiting for them. He gestured for her to take a seat before frowning at his son. On the table, there were books scattered most seeming to be old and worn. The pages that had been left open all had sketches and drawing of wolves. She could read words she recognized.

 _Shifter._

 _Wolf_

 _Wife_

 _Cold ones_

 _Female_

 _Alpha_

Wondering what Billy could possibly looking for Leah searched the pages in front of her. She hadn't even noticed the argument that seemed to be brewing between father and son.

"Jacob. No. She is not sleeping here. Sue would have my head and there needs to be some sort of boundaries" Leah opened her mouth to interject before Jacob could dig a deeper hole.

"Billy. Please it's fine I'll run home. I don't want to intrude or over stay my welcome." She did her best to appease him with a soft smile and she knew that she had him. Billy groaned before swiping a hand over his face tiredly.

"Damn it girl. You know those dimples will get you anywhere. Fine but no funny business you too." He snapped while pointing a finger at Jacob. Nodding his consent Jacob stood before hauling Leah into his arms and up over his shoulder. Leah smacked his ass before looking up at Billy. The chief rolled his eyes before crossing his arms across his chest. She waved at him as Jacob turned around the corner to the hall that lead to his room. Once the door was shut Jacob placed her on her feet. He raised her arms and helped her out of her blouse and shorts.

Naked and groggy, Leah finally noticed that she was dead on her feet. Her body exhausted from the nerves during the day and the sex. The wonderful hot dirty car sex. She yawned sleepily while Jacob steered her to his bed and helped her under the sheets. Once situated, Leah turned to him and shuffled over to press against his side. She placed an arm around his waist and kissed his chest.

"Good night Lee." She felt him whisper against her forehead. She was fast asleep before her response had made it past her lips.


End file.
